Stars & the Moon
by headhighherrstiefel
Summary: In the midst of dealing with Beth's adoption, Quinn ends up working on a summer community theatre production with Rachel. Hilarity ensues. Just kidding.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is a WIP, and I wasn't going to post it until it was finished, but I'd really like some more feedback. I'm also thinking about writing a one-shot based on Silly Love Songs. We'll see. This has a lot of original characters, which I hate about other fics so I promise only one of them will be close to a main character. Thanks to my beta and friend, Laura. :)

**Chapter 1** – _The Phoenix_

One of the wheels on the grocery cart was squeaking loudly with each rotation. Under the unforgiving florescent lights of the Save-a-Lot, Quinn Fabray pretended that this was the reason for every pair of eyes in the store to flicker back and forth between grocery lists, unruly children, and herself. Lima, Ohio was the definition of small town and when you were the center of as much controversy as the blonde ex-cheerleader had been in the past year, you might as well be Lindsay Lohan for all the gossip. Over the sound of the squeaking wheel, screaming children, and the Muzak playing over the loudspeaker, Quinn could barely pick out the harshly whispered "baby," then "divorce," "drunk," and finally, "bless her heart." Sighing heavily, she pushed her unrelentingly chirpy cart to the produce section and began to load up on fruits and vegetables. She was determined to lose the baby weight.

Since Beth had been born and Quinn had terminated parental rights, the blonde had changed. The Glee clubbers noticed it, little by little. She was more reserved, more cooperative, and less preachy, although not necessarily nicer. It just simply seemed that the teenage angst and drama had been drained from her when she had brought someone else into the world. She had held her baby, and felt the hitherto unparalleled want and need to give that little human everything on a silver platter. To look into that little face every day and see her endless love reflected back at her. To feel needed and important to the same person every single day, no matter what. And then she had recognized and accepted that she couldn't do any of those things, that she was sixteen, and alone, and scared, and broke. She gave that baby girl the only thing she could: the opportunity for a better life. Prior to giving birth, Quinn never would have given herself the credit for that kind of mature thinking. After giving birth, she couldn't imagine thinking about anything but what was best for her baby. If that rocked her tiny town to its foundation, so be it. Quinn knew that her actions made her Beth's mother for the rest of her life, even if she couldn't be her Mom. It didn't make it hurt any less; it didn't make her stop missing her baby. Quinn supposed that this was the real consequence of being irresponsible and getting pregnant; not having the baby, but recognizing Beth's need above her own desires.

Quinn ignored the whispers as her cart squeaked over to the apples and she began to fill one of the little plastic bags.

"Quinn?"

Quinn froze. Since the summer had begun, she had hardly seen any of her friends. They hadn't sought her out, and she didn't mind. The kind of life experience that came with having a child seemed to set her apart from them. She turned around hesitantly and was met with a tall, well kept dark-haired boy with stylish glasses and a bright smile on his face. Quinn was surprised.

"Jason?"

Her sister's ex-boyfriend enveloped her into a giant hug, "I haven't seen you in ages!" he cried. Quinn smiled softly. When Annie and Jason had been dating, the boy had been a permanent fixture at the Fabray house, but Quinn hadn't seen him since her sister had put an abrupt end to the relationship.

"How are you?" She asked, looking him over. In the four years since she had seen him, he had grown taller and thinner.

"I'm good. I'm home for summer. I'm up at the University of Cincinnati. How have you been?" he asked. Quinn began to tell him about Glee club, but just then, a pair of older women from Quinn's church passed, staring at her and talking in hushed voices. The blonde blushed in spite of herself. When she looked back to Jason, she could tell that even though he'd been away at college, he had heard all about her. Instead of looking scandalized, however, his eyes were full of pity and he appeared deep in thought. Quinn wasn't sure which would have been worse.

"Well, I should get going," she began, but he cut her off.

"Quinn, I know I'm definitely a secondary character in your life, but could we have lunch some time? Tomorrow, maybe? I have a proposition for you, and I'd really like you to consider it." Quinn raised an eyebrow. Despite the fact that the lunch could easily just be a giant pity party, something she had no desire to experience, she was intrigued. What could her sister's former love interest want with her?

"Alright," she nodded, "But not Breaksticks." Jason grinned and the two exchanged information. Quinn couldn't help but notice how much easier his smiled seemed these days. She drove home contemplating what he could possibly have in store for her.

When she got home, Quinn brought the groceries in and cleared a place on the counter for the bags as she unloaded them. The kitchen was strewn with dirty dishes, abandoned sections of the newspaper, and empty liquor bottles. She sighed as she put away her produce and began to clean up. Ever since her parents' divorce and her father's subsequent departure, her mother seemed lost, sad, and lonely, and hell bent on self-medicating with alcohol. She seemed of the same opinion of her ex-husband, that if Quinn had birthed a child, she was no longer one herself and was no longer in need of parenting. All Quinn saw of her father since she had returned home was a monthly check that more than covered her and her mother's living expenses. Quinn knew it was guilt money and lost no sleep over cashing each and every check. As Quinn closed the refrigerator door, Judy shuffled in wearing her bathrobe, clutching a sweating glass full of melting ice and amber colored liquid.

"Oh, hello, dear." Judy smiled vaguely as she took a seat on one of the barstools at the island in the center of the room.

"Hi, Mom. I bought some groceries." Quinn placed some dishes in the dishwasher.

"Oh, thank you, Quinnie. Very sweet." The older Fabray woman downed some of her drink and pulled a section of the newspaper toward her. It was a month old.

"I ran into Jason today at the supermarket."

"Hmm? Oh, is that one of your little singing friends dear?" Judy didn't look up from the paper, but Quinn could also see she wasn't quite reading anything there, either.

"No, Mom, Jason Attkisson. Remember? Annie's old boyfriend?" Quinn studied her mother's vacant expression.

"Oh, yes, dear, Jason. From the choir at church." Mrs. Fabray stood and shuffled out of the kitchen as Quinn nodded, and the younger Fabray sighed and collected all the old newspapers. She needed to get out of the house; her mother was going to drive her insane.

The next day was hot, and Quinn spent the morning trying to get the house clean while her mother slept in. By eleven, she had managed to clean the kitchen and living room and got ready to meet Jason, reluctantly changing into one of her sundresses. The former cheerleader still had no idea what this "proposition" was that Jason had mentioned, and was wary of the boy's intentions. Although, Quinn mused to herself as she fixed her hair in her vanity mirror, if he was going to make a move he was certainly going about it in an unusual way.

Downtown Lima hardly constituted as a "downtown" area. It boasted a few square blocks of taller business buildings, nothing above ten stories besides the massive bank, and a few shops and art galleries situated around what was commonly referred to as "Lima Square," which consisted of an extended sidewalk and three park benches. And of course, there was Breasticks, and the movie theater. This was as far downtown as Quinn had ever had cause to go, and had to admit she was curious as to what lay on the south side of Elm Street.

The GPS in the car led her onto Metcalf Drive, past the shops she had at one time frequented, until the neighborhood became abruptly industrial. She turned the car onto Albert Street and began looking for the restaurant. She felt her blood starting to boil, sure Jason had put her up to something. She pulled out her phone and dialed his number, stopping the car on the side of the street.

"Quinn!" he sounded cheerful. The blonde scowled, sure now that he had been playing a joke on her.

"Listen, choirboy, your little pranks may work with your frat boys back in Cincinnati but I really hope you didn't think you could get away with sending me to the middle of Egypt for no reason and-"

"Quinn!" Jason interrupted her monologue, biting back laughter. "Quinn, look to your right."

Jason was standing on the sidewalk beside her car, waving sheepishly. Quinn opened and shut her mouth and then hung up the phone, climbing out of the car.

"What kind of a place is this to eat lunch?" She snapped, coming around the back of the car to stand beside him. Jason chuckled.

"It's okay, I forgive you for accusing me of being an asshole." Quinn ignored him and looked at the building in front of them. It was in bad need of a paint job and sat low to the ground, like it was tired. It was clearly an old storefront, but a hopeful little sign above the door read_ The Phoenix Theatre_. Quinn turned to Jason with narrowed eyes.

"What is this?" she asked accusatorily. Jason threw his hands up in a sign of innocence.

"Relax! I just brought you here to meet a few of my friends before we go to lunch. It's all part of my proposition." He held the door open for her. Quinn passed through, still wary.

It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkness, but when they did she saw a very small lobby painted a deep red color with framed production posters lining the walls. A tiny box office window sat to one side with a square of plywood covering it from the inside. Across from the front door were two large double doors, painted black, and on the opposite side of the long, skinny lobby, across from the box office was a door marked "restroom." Jason grinned at her again.

"Home sweet home!" he announced, and crossed to a door in the corner beside the box office that Quinn hadn't noticed before, as it was painted the same red color as the walls. "Come on."

She followed him through the door into an extremely narrow hallway. Along the walls were shelves and hooks that housed the most random assortment of objects Quinn had ever seen. Boxes, books, candelabras, swords, spectacles, tea sets, maracas, daggers, mirrors, chipped china dishes, framed portraits, desk lamps, old telephones, and even an ancient metal cash register, all sat under layers of dust of varying thicknesses. Quinn tried not to trip as she gawked while simultaneously maneuvering around the boxes along the floor. It was like walking through a never-ending pawn shop. Eventually the hallway widened slightly and they passed a few empty tables and another black door before making a sharp left onto another hall, this one completely clear of clutter and slightly wider. It was lined with bulletin boards and several other doors. Jason opened the nearest of these and pulled Quinn into a mid-sized room that was also full of random, assorted junk as well as wooden platforms and stray walls from stage sets. There were also four sofas from varying time periods. Two large bookcases stood with their backs to the room, sectioning off the far corner. Quinn could hear the sound of typing.

"Rod?" Jason called out, and there was a grunt and scraping of chair as "Rod" slowly climbed out from between the bookcases. As Jason drew her nearer, she saw there was a desk and filing cabinet crammed into the makeshift office behind the bookcases.

"Rod," Jason continued, "This is Quinn. Quinn, Rod. I used to date Quinn's sister."

Quinn watched as Rod, for some reason, let his head fall back as he laughed loudly. He was an older man with salt and pepper hair and a small belly that hung over his belt buckle.

"Nice to meet you, Quinn," he stuck out a hand and she shook it gingerly, "Rodney Arbaugh."

"Rod owns the theatre and is the resident director." Jason said. Quinn nodded and looked around, still not sure why Jason had brought her here.

"Rod?" a woman's voice came from the hallway they had just left, and as Quinn turned she saw a tall, thin woman with blonde hair appear in the doorframe, followed by a girl who had to be about thirteen and a fit-looking middle-aged man. They all squeezed into the room.

"Oh, I didn't realize we had company!" The woman smiled warmly.

"Quinn, this is Nancy, she's Rod's wife, and this is their daughter, Tiffany. And this is Allan, the technical director. Everyone, this is Quinn. I dated her sister in high school." Again, everyone laughed and Allan even slapped Jason on the shoulder. Quinn was about ready to go; these people were weird, until, amidst the "nice-to-meet-yous" she realized something was missing. None of these people were nudging each other and whispering while avoiding eye contact with her. In fact, despite their inappropriate laughter, they were all warm and friendly. They asked her where she went to school and joked about what Jason must have been like in high school. Quinn realized it was the most pleasant and friendly interaction she'd experienced in a long time.

After a few moments she felt comfortable enough to ask, "So, what kind of plays do you guys do here?"

Rod smiled, "Well, in December we did _A Lion in Winter_ and in March we did _On Golden Pond_," He glanced at Jason, "And now we're getting ready to start rehearsals for our summer musical, which will be _Songs for a New World_ this year." Quinn nodded politely, having only heard of the first two as old movies her mom sometimes watched. Rod and Jason were exchanging looks. Quinn shifted uncomfortably.

"Listen, Quinn, that proposition I told you about. It's really a proposition from everyone here," Quinn's eyebrows jumped and looked around at all of them. They looked hopeful as Jason continued, "You see, I'm an understudy in the show but I'm also the stage manager," he paused. Quinn had no idea what a stage manager was so she waited for him to continue. "Well," he rambled on, "we were thinking about all that responsibility and we decided, you know, I could use an assistant. But I don't know anyone in town anymore, really, and so when I saw you yesterday and I realized how much you've grown up since I last saw you, well, I figured, you could be my assistant."

Quinn looked incredulously from him to Rod, who was nodding, although looking at Jason as though he thought the speech could have been more convincing.

"Uh," Quinn began, feeling uncomfortable, "I don't even know what a stage manager is…"

"That's okay!" Nancy said quickly, smiling warmly again, "It's easy to learn. It'll be a wonderful experience!"

Quinn shook her head, "Look, it was great to meet everyone and your shows sound great but I really don't have any clue as to why you would even think I'd want to do this." She looked at Jason accusatorily. He shrugged.

"You were grocery shopping for your parents, I kind of assumed you didn't have anything better to do." Quinn's eyes narrowed as Allan spoke up.

"Listen, kiddo, no one's forcing you but I will tell you it can be a blast working in here."

"We'd really love for you to come and work with us," Rod said kindly, "but of course if you're not interested, that's fine, too."

Quinn bit her lip. It was the first time anyone had expressed any real interest in having her around in a long time.

"Could I…think about it?" she asked, looking at Jason, "Maybe you could explain it a little bit more during lunch?"

Everyone beamed and nodded as if she'd already said yes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 **_The Check-In_

Quinn had driven them to a tiny café that she had never heard of before, but that Jason had highly recommended. Quinn's head was spinning. Not only had Jason re-entered her life completely out of the blue, but she had discovered an entire area of the town she'd lived in all her life that she had never seen before. Jason was chatting merrily as they went into the café and sat at a table near the back.

"Everyone really liked you!" he said with a grin as the waitress brought them menus. Quinn shook her head.

"I still have no idea what a stage manager does."

Jason continued to grin. "Well, that's me, I'm the stage manager, and I'm basically responsible for everything that goes on backstage. During rehearsal I take notes on how the scene is being directed, I figure out what kind of props we need, try to figure out if there's going to be a costume issue."

"What kind of a costume issue?" If Quinn was going to be honest, she would have to say this job sounded awful.

"Well," Jason sipped his water and continued to peruse the menu, "If someone has to run, then they can't be wearing something so restricting that they can't run, you know. Stuff like that. The designers won't normally be in rehearsal so my job is to be there so that I can tell them about that stuff."

The waitress came and took their food order, and Quinn could feel Jason watching her intently. She resisted strongly the urge to roll her eyes. She could tell he was waiting for her to jump up, throw her arms around him and answer with a resounding 'yes!' She wasn't ready to give him a definitive answer yet, so to stall she said, "What are you doing up in Cincinnati?"

He only looked slightly disappointed. She had presented him with an opportunity to talk about himself, after all.

"I'm in the musical theatre program at the College-Conservatory of Music," she could tell by his pause that she was supposed to be impressed by this, but since she had never heard of the place before, her face remained neutral. He pressed on, anyway. "I audition whenever I can, you know. I work, too. I'm supporting myself."

Quinn was surprised by this. She knew Jason's family had money. "Your parents aren't helping you?"

There was a pause as the waitress set their food on the table and they both got settled into the meal. Finally, Jason looked up, and Quinn saw him look sad and a little bitter for the first time since she'd run into him.

"No, they aren't."

"Oh." Quinn was torn between wanting to ask, but also not really caring. Whatever spoiled-boy-forced-into-growing-up issues he was having were things she didn't want to hear about.

"Quinn, do you know why Annie and I broke up?"

Quinn shrugged and pretended to be very interested in her sandwich. She was going to regret agreeing to come to this lunch if Jason was going to whine about problems that didn't even matter. She scowled at her plate.

"I'm gay." Her eyes shot up to meet his and her mouth fell open.

"_What?_"

Jason chuckled. "Yeah. I told Annie, I asked her to forgive me for hurting her feelings. I asked her not to break up with me, to help me hide it. I told her maybe she could help me be cured. But I think she was more hurt than she cared to let on. She told my parents and they kicked me out."

Quinn stared at him. It was a lot to process; the eerie similarity between her story and his, her sister's treachery. Finally she managed, "How did I not know about this?"

Jason laughed again. "My parents were mortified, and I moved in with my brother and I didn't tell anyone. I had it easier than you did, people couldn't tell I was gay just by looking. Not then, anyway." He grinned.

Quinn blinked at him, "Is this why everyone at the theatre kept laughing whenever you told them about Annie?" He nodded, still chuckling. Quinn had to smirk a little at that. Quinn agreed that had discretion been an option for her, she would have minimized the scandal by keeping her secret, too. Although, she wasn't sure how "easy" he had had it. She knew they had both had similar upbringings and had both gone to the same church. As they paid for their meal and prepared to leave, she couldn't help but appreciate that Jason seemed to know a little of what she had gone through in the past year.

"I have to say," he said, taking a sip of his drink, "I kind of expected you to start preaching at me."

Quinn smirked and looked toward the front of the restaurant, out the windows. "I know what that's like, after…well, after this year. Besides, I lived with someone whose best friend is the only gay person in our school. I was around him a lot."

"You mean the only _out_ gay person at school. Some people could be gay and not even realize it, or they're hiding it."

Quinn just shrugged at him. She wasn't sure what to say to that.

"Listen, about the assistant thing," Jason held up his hand when she opened her mouth to protest, "just sleep on it and give me a call tomorrow. We don't start rehearsals until Monday, anyway."

Quinn hesitated. It was Saturday, and the possibility of being thrown into something that seemed so involved in two days' time was daunting. She found herself nodding yes, anyway. "I'll think about it," she answered. Jason grinned again.

Quinn drove off feeling intrigued by Jason's offer, but also emotionally drained from revisiting so many pent up emotions by hearing his story. When she arrived home, she found her mother passed out on the couch, the television still on and tuned to Court TV. Quinn sighed and turned the tv off, draping a blanket over her mother without much care. The woman's self-pity was starting to rub Quinn raw. Judy Fabray was where Quinn would be if she stopped trying, and Quinn couldn't help but feel that her mother didn't quite have the right to check out. Sure, she had been cheated on and thrown Russell out. Quinn had unknowingly had unprotected sex, gotten pregnant, been kicked out of her house and then gave the baby up. _If anyone had the right to check out it's me_,the younger Fabray decided, climbing the stairs, _and that_, she thought, looking over at her mother, _will never be me_. As she climbed into bed, she grabbed her phone to text Jason:

**I'll do it.**__


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey everyone, thanks for your patience with this update. I'm actually working on a show myself that opened this week and I've been very busy. The next chapter is already in the works. This chapter is unbeta'd so please excuse any grammatical errors. **

Even in the early hours of Monday morning, the air was thick with heat and humidity. Sweat rolled off Quinn's body as her feet hit the pavement in a steady rhythm. When the alarm on her phone had gone off at seven, she had left her mother sleeping on the couch and grabbed her iPod, running until her muscles burned and she was forced to slow to a jog, her lungs pulling in air painfully. She no longer had any desire to rejoin the Cheerios, but hated the way her strength felt sapped from her body since giving birth. She wished, not for the first time, that her mother was more aware of herself so that she could offer some kind of advice, or at least commiserate. As she returned home, showered and dressed and got into the car, she pushed these thoughts from her head and instead tried to imagine what tasks lay ahead at the theatre. Jason had called the day before and asked her to come in by ten, even though he knew it was the "butt crack of dawn." Quinn had rolled her eyes. Clearly, Jason had never been subjected to Coach Sylvester's weekend practice schedules. He had assured her this was not the norm, but that there were things they needed to take care of before rehearsal started that night. Quinn refused to admit that she was a little excited to be involved in something outside of taking care of her mother, but even so found herself happily distracted from her troubles by imagining what was in store for her as she pulled up in front of the theatre.

Hours later, Quinn was cursing herself for agreeing to help as she stood slowly, her stiff knees objecting painfully, and surveyed her work. The room with Rod's makeshift office in it had been cleared to some degree, boxes of props piled up along the walls and couches pushed out of the way. On the floor was a ground plan of the scenery, reproduced in colored tape for rehearsal purposes. Quinn, Jason, and Allan had been crawling around all day with several tape measures, a copy of the ground plan, a scale rule, and many rolls of tape. Quinn's theatrical vocabulary, which contained a few terms and phrases gleaned from Glee club rehearsals, had expanded exponentially, as had her limited collection of obscenities. Allan, it turned out, had been a union stagehand at some point.

"The cast should be arriving any minute," Jason said as he collected the tape and other tools. In preparation, they set out chairs and rolled a piano in from the theatre, then set up a table and chairs for Rod and themselves. Allan left, muttering something about scheduling a tuning for the piano. Just as he left, Rod entered accompanied by four other people: an older, distinguished-looking gentleman with a salt-and-pepper goatee and heavy eyebrows, an attractive middle-aged woman with blonde hair, a clean-shaven young man in his mid-twenties, and Rachel Berry.

Quinn did a double take. _Rachel Berry?_ Rachel was in conversation with the blonde-haired woman and hadn't noticed her yet. Quinn grabbed Jason's arm.

"Tell me Rachel Berry isn't in this play," she said in a low hiss.

"Oh, you know her? Great! She's incredible." As usual, Jason missed the ferocity of her glare and continued setting up for rehearsal. Quinn fumed, watching as Rachel ended her conversation. Their eyes met, and the brunette smiled hesitantly at her. She looked like she was about to make her way across the room, but Jason had begun to speak.

"Alright, if everyone could please grab a seat, Rod can start with introductions." He smiled and sat behind the table with a pen and a pad of paper at the ready. Quinn reluctantly took her seat beside him, feeling utterly trapped.

"I want to welcome everyone to this production of Jason Robert Brown's Songs for a New World. I really believe this is going to be a great show and I'm excited to be directing you all. This is a powerful piece of theatre. It's about reaching a moment that demands you make a choice, whether you take a stand or back down. That's what our concept for the show has been throughout the design process." Quinn thought about that, choosing whether to take a stand or back down. She realized she had no idea what this show was actually about.

She was quickly pulled out of her thoughts by Jason's voice saying her name.

"And this is Quinn Fabray; she's our assistant stage manager." Rod and the four actors politely clapped as Quinn offered them a weak smile. She could see Berry grinning at her from across the room and suppressed a glare, certain that the shorter girl would now consider her some sort of friend. She silently cursed the universe as the cast introduced themselves and their roles.

Quinn couldn't stop looking at Rachel, realizing how many features she shared with Shelby: the woman who got to hold Beth every day, who got to feed her and would witness her first words. Quinn couldn't help but think about how Shelby had dumped Rachel with her dads. As detached from Rachel as Quinn tried to be, she couldn't pretend not to know how hurt Rachel had been by that. As a matter of fact, Quinn mused, watching the rehearsal unfold as the cast sang through the songs, she seemed to have noticed a lot of things about Rachel despite actively belittling her existence for the past several years.

When rehearsal was over, Rachel made a beeline for Quinn, who was organizing the notes that Jason had taken while the room cleared out.

"Hello, Quinn," Rachel said, smiling the same hesitant smile from the beginning of the night. Quinn was unable to keep the scowl off of her face, but managed a low "Berry" in acknowledgement.

"I wasn't aware that you would be working on this production. In fact, I didn't know you held any interest in stage management."

Quinn looked up from the papers she was shuffling around. "I don't, I'm doing this as a favor for Jason," she said before flipping through the giant binder that Jason had told her was called the prompt script.

"That's admirable. By my observations, the role of assistant stage manager seems to hold much responsibility. It's good of you to commit so much time and effort to a volunteer position. Obviously accepting a role in such a small cast also holds a certain amount of responsibility but of course I will be rewarded with applause whereas you have accepted quite a thankless position. I wouldn't have pictured you as an ASM."

Quinn couldn't stand looking at Shelby's abandoned genetics any longer. All her anger and resentment at having to give Beth up bubbled over, as her anger and resentment usually did.

"Why, because you can't imagine me accepting a job I won't be applauded for? I'm not you, Berry; I don't act like a freak hoping someone will notice me and throw me a crumb of attention."

Rachel looked like Quinn had just thrown another slushie in her face.

"I think you're wrong, Quinn. I think you crave attention as much as I do. At least I am looking for recognition of my talents. You can't forgive yourself for something so you hurt others, and claw your way to the top hoping people like Noah Puckerman or Finn will give you the love you can't give yourself. You think we're so different but I think if you were honest with yourself, you'd find we are quite similar."

Quinn glowered at her, matching the heat in the brunette's eyes. "Listen, Furby, don't presume to know anything about me. You-"

Quinn's next insult was cut off by Jason's reappearance. For once, he seemed to notice the negative energy in the air and stopped a few feet from them.

"Oh...I'm sorry...I hate to interrupt but, Quinn, we need to get started on the rehearsal report for tonight," Jason said haltingly, looking from one girl to the other.

"That's quite alright, Jason. I was just leaving," Rachel said, turning her eyes away from Quinn and crossing the room to pick up her bag. Quinn saw her hesitate at the door and half turn back, and then change her mind and leave, shutting the door behind her.

Jason showed her how to write the report but explained that he would typically be the one to generate it and email it to Rod, Nancy, and Allan.

"Also," he added as he typed on his laptop, "We will be locking the building up each night. Nancy will show you how if you go find her."

Quinn wandered the twists and turns of the little building, wondering just how many little hiding places were there. She finally started just trying doors, and one finally opened into the theatre she had helped Jason get the piano from earlier. The large room was lit by a single bare bulb on a stand in the middle of the stage. _Ghost light_, Quinn's new knowledge of theatre terms told her. In the dim light, she could make out the house, where the audience sat. She would have guessed it could hold no more than one hundred people. The seats were raised so that the stage was on the floor level, and above her head several lighting instruments were clamped to a grid of metal pipes that stretched along the whole room, just below the ceiling. The stage was bare save for a few piles of wood and some tools. She was about to turn back to the hallway when she heard voices. Stepping to the side of the bank of chairs, she could make out Tiffany and Nancy sitting together in the third row. She knew she shouldn't be eavesdropping, but as with many things, she ignored her conscience and quieted her breathing.

"...I feel bad but I don't know what to do. I don't think I did anything wrong, I don't know why she's mad at me." Tiffany, who played piano for the show, was sniffling and her mom was rubbing her back soothingly.

"Maybe it doesn't have anything to do with you, sweetie. She might be mad about something else and just taking it out on you. Have you tried talking to her?" Nancy spoke in soft tones.

"I just don't know who to eat lunch with now! She's my best friend!" Tiffany shed fresh tears and buried her head in her mom's shoulder. Nancy continued to rub her daughter's back.

"I know, honey bunny. Try talking to her away from your other friends and ask if she's alright. Maybe she just needs someone to talk to like you did tonight with me."

Tiffany nodded slowly. "Maybe. Thanks, Mom."

Quinn felt like she had been sucker punched. She was overcome, once again, with the realization that she would never hold Beth as she cried; she would never comfort her through frivolous fights with her friends in her teens. She would never have silly terms of endearment for her carried over from her baby days, the days that Quinn was missing at that very moment. Would Shelby know to say these things to her? Quinn realized now that parenting was an art that required skills and experience and a mindset that she lacked; otherwise she would be home with her baby girl right now. Did Shelby have those skills? She didn't before, or she'd still have Rachel.

Quinn took a deep breath to quiet her thoughts. This was not the moment to break down. Smoothing her face into a neutral mask, she stepped out from the shadows and allowed Nancy to usher her around the theatre, explaining all the tricks involved in locking the numerous doors in the building. Tiffany trailed along and gave her input as to which doors "really sucked," and before long the three of them and Jason were saying their goodbyes on the sidewalk in front of the theatre.

Once locked into her car and alone, Quinn allowed the tears to fall, the uncertainty and doubts to overwhelm her. She rested her head against the steering wheel and sobbed, the sound filling the car's interior like it always did. This was Quinn's place to let go. Her car had allowed her to cry into its leather interior when she found out she was pregnant, and now again when she wondered if she had made the right decision in giving her child away.

When she finally returned home, her mother was sitting at the island in the kitchen again. Usually her mom popped just enough pills or downed just enough of the drink of the day to keep her catatonic, but today Quinn noticed the empty bottles and knew something must have happened.

"Mom, are you okay?" she asked, pulling a glass full of melting ice cubes out of her hands.

"Give me that," Judy slurred, trying to grab the sweating glass out of her daughter's hands. Quinn put the glass in the sink and wet a washcloth, wiping her mother's sweaty brow with it.

"You've been crying," her mother said, peering up into Quinn's face. Quinn shrugged.

"Where were you?" Judy asked. Quinn was thrown off by the question. Her mother had taken no interest in her activities since she had moved back in. Quinn didn't feel up to explaining what she was doing with Jason, so instead just said, "I was out."

"But you were crying. Why?" Judy pressed, attempting to stand and wobbling on the spot for a few minutes.

Quinn stared at her mother, wondering if she really cared. Had she chosen this moment to become a parent again?

"I miss Beth." she said simply, watching closely for a reaction.

"Beth?" her mother looked confused. Quinn's heart sank to the floor immediately.

"My baby, Mom." it took a lot for Quinn to speak those words without wincing. Judy apparently lacked her daughter's control. She reeled back as if she had been slapped. It was the first time Quinn had broached the subject since her return.

"You got rid of it so you wouldn't have to be reminded of your sins," her face twisted in a drunken rage, "You have no business missing the bastard. I miss your father, Quinn, but he's gone now. Because of you. Because of your sins, because of your bastard child."

Quinn's fists were balled at her sides, her chest heaving. But Judy had already slumped to the floor, her head resting against the side of the island, sobbing pathetically on the tiled floor of their perfectly decorated, filthy kitchen. Quinn turned and stormed up the stairs, slamming and locking her bedroom door. She paced the room furiously, her feet silent on the plush carpet.

There was so much that could go wrong with mothers. What if Shelby drank, too? What if she ignored Beth the way that Judy ignored her own children? Even if everything was fine now, there was no guarantee that things would stay that way. Shelby had been able to hand Rachel over to the Berrys, then decide she had made a mistake sixteen years later, then changed her mind again and let Rachel go for a second time. What was stopping her from changing her mind about Beth, too?

Quinn was suddenly consumed with the need to see her baby. She didn't know where Shelby lived, she had no way to contact her, no way to see her child. She fell back on her bed, raking her hands through her hair and squeezing her eyes shut. How could she find them? Beth's face swam before her eyes, then Shelby's. The dark brown locks, the strong jaw and fierce eyes.

_God, she really does look just like Berry._

Quinn's eyes flew open. _Rachel!_ It was so obvious she slapped her hand to her forehead and sat up. _But I can't just ask her_, she thought, _after today she probably hates me as much as I hate her._

Quinn's manipulative tendencies sent her mind spinning with possible damage control ideas. She knew what she had to do; she had to make Rachel Berry trust her.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This is a really short chapter, sorry! But I'm starting the next one right now because I am leaving for two theatre conferences next week and won't be able to update. Hope you enjoy! Chapter 5 should be up very soon. This is another unbeta'd chapter, so again excuse grammatical errors please. **

The next day at rehearsal, Quinn set her plan into action. She knew her first order of business would have to be to apologize. She had been putting it off, though. High as the stakes were, she just couldn't bring herself to apologize to Man Hands, for goodness sake.

The opportunity soon arose, however, during a fifteen minute break. Quinn swallowed her pride and approached the shorter girl, who was drinking from her water bottle thirstily in the corner of the room. Quinn could see the muscles in her exposed throat moving under tanned skin as she swallowed.

"Rachel..." she trailed off. Now what?

"Quinn." Rachel said coldly.

"Listen," Quinn paused and licked her lips nervously. She watched Rachel's eyes widen slightly and follow her tongue's path. _Huh_.

"You were right, yesterday," Quinn began again, "What you said about us being similar. I'm just…" Quinn paused, "I've just been having a rough time lately. I'm sorry for what I said." The rest of her breath left her in a rush.

Rachel paused a moment, considering her with her head cocked to the side.

"Thank you, Quinn, I accept your apology." The two of them stood awkwardly, Rachel looking at Quinn and Quinn looking at the ground, for a few seconds before Quinn decided to up the ante.

"You sounded good just now," she said, gesturing to the middle of the room where the shorter girl had recently been singing.

"Thank you, Quinn. I believe Jason Robert Brown's music compliments many young singers' voices. Although I love _Songs for a New World_, I have a soft spot for _The Last Five Years_, myself."

Quinn blinked and nodded slowly, then tried to smile like she knew exactly what Rachel was talking about. Luckily, Jason called them back at that moment.

After the break, the director decided to let Rachel try one of the older woman's songs for fun. Tiffany played the intro, and Rachel took her place in the center of the room.

Quinn couldn't deny that Rachel had a beautiful voice. When she heard her sing, it made her feel lightheaded and a little dizzy. In fact, and Quinn would never admit this to anyone, when Rachel sang she felt a stirring she had rarely felt with Puck and never with Finn. It made her hate the brunette even more, that she unwittingly held this power over her.

_"I'll give you stars and the moon and the open highway__  
__and a river beneath your feet.__  
__I'll give you days full of dreams if you travel my way__  
__and a summer you can't repeat.__  
__I'll give you nights full of passion and days of adventure; __  
__no strings, just warm summer rain."_

The song wasn't really written for Rachel's normal vocal part, but even so she carried it off beautifully. Quinn couldn't help but notice how intently Rachel was staring at her. Quinn felt her cheeks flame in embarrassment and confusion and dropped her head, pretending to follow along with the lyrics printed in the script. The song mercifully ended, and Quinn exhaled quickly, causing Jason to eye her curiously before calling everyone to move on to the next song.

Once rehearsal was over, Jason called everyone together to make announcements.

"This weekend we will have our first work call to build the set. We ask that everyone come out and lend a hand in some small way. Sonya, our costumer, will be here to take measurements and Quinn will be scheduling you all for specific time slots throughout the day. We start at eleven on Saturday morning, so please be on time. We want to make good use of the day. Great rehearsal, everyone!"

There was a light smattering of applause as everyone collected their things. Since rehearsal had run slightly overtime, Rachel was rushing out the door in order to begin her nightly beauty regimen on time. Quinn helped Jason put chairs away and tidy up the room as everyone left, calling their goodbyes over their shoulders.

"I saw you speaking to Rachel during the break," Jason said cautiously, stacking a chair in the corner. Quinn shrugged noncommittally.

"That's good, I'm glad you are over whatever was wrong between you yesterday," Jason said, eyeing her again. Quinn turned away from him to shuffle some boxes of props into a better arrangement and didn't answer. There was a pause, then, "She's an amazing singer, isn't she?"

Quinn made a face at the yellowed wall in front of her. So he did notice her distress earlier. _Great_, Quinn mused internally before turning to face him.

"Sure is. Are we done?" She finally responded.

Jason nodded and she stalked out of the room, but didn't miss the smirk on his face. Once safe in her car, she again rested her head against the steering wheel and let out the groan of misery that had been building for the past couple of hours. _And I thought this would distract me from my problems_, she thought, turning the key in the ignition and steering the car toward home.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello! So this is chapter is a bit longer. I'm sick of thinking up not-so-clever titles for the chapters. I'm leaving for those theatre conventions in a couple of days and won't be able to update for awhile. Probably. But I will keep writing! Hope you enjoy! **

Quinn awoke to the smell of bacon. She thought for sure she was dreaming. She rolled over and looked at the illuminated red numbers of the alarm clock on her bedside table: 9am. She ran her hands over her face and through her hair sleepily, stretched, and sniffed again. Yep, definitely bacon.

She rolled over and grabbed her phone, flipping it open to find a text from Rachel.

**What time do I need to be there today?**

Quinn rolled her eyes but texted back: **11.** She had politely ignored Rachel's badly suppressed enthusiasm the first time Quinn suggested Rachel text her regarding show questions, and since then the brunette had thought of at least three questions a day. Quinn had the sneaking suspicion that Rachel rarely received or sent text messages and thus was excited to have someone to correspond with. If Quinn was going to be honest, she hadn't had anyone to text as of late, either.

Quinn lay back in bed again, trying to put off the moment that her feet would touch the carpet and begin her day. Quinn felt fairly certain that Rachel was getting more and more comfortable with her. It had been three days since she had apologized to her and Quinn felt lucky to find that Rachel wasn't one to hold a grudge. Instead, she seemed eager to put their pasts behind them. She sought Quinn out during breaks and after rehearsal, and of course there was the texting of questions she already knew the answers to. Quinn wondered how long it would take her to be able to work Shelby into the conversation. She calculated that it wouldn't take more than another couple of days, but the real issue was how to ask to be put in touch with her without seeming obvious. The blonde tapped her forefinger against her lips in thought, but was too distracted by the smell of the bacon.

Giving in to curiosity, she stood, stretched one more time, and put her phone in the pocket of her pajama pants as she padded down the stairs. Rounding the corner into the kitchen, she stopped in her tracks.

Judy was standing at the stove cooking breakfast. The bacon that had enticed Quinn out of her bed was frying in a pan while the older woman shuffled some eggs around in a second pan with a spatula. Quinn noticed that her mother's usual bathrobe and slippers had been laundered for the first time in a very long while, and her blonde hair was combed.

This was the icing on the cake for the younger Fabray. Her mother had been gradually acting more and more normal all week. First loading the dishwasher, then doing a load of laundry and taking out the trash, and now this. The two of them hadn't spoken much since Judy's drunken outburst; in fact Quinn had been avoiding her like crazy. She cautiously stepped into the room as if it held a wild animal of some sort.

"Mom?"

Judy turned around, "Oh, Quinn, you're awake. Good morning!" She slid eggs and bacon onto a plate and placed it in front of her daughter on the island. Quinn took a seat and began to eat. It was the first time her mother had cooked in months.

"Thanks, Mom." Quinn shoveled the food in her mouth, thinking she had never tasted anything quite as delicious.

"Quinn, dear, would you like to go to service with me tomorrow?" Judy's smile was wide, if a little tight. Quinn's heart sank slightly.

"Oh, um, I have reh-I have plans already." Quinn wasn't sure why she didn't want to talk about the play, but she felt like explaining it would have been giving away some grand secret. Judy's face fell a little, but she recovered.

"Alright, dear, maybe next Sunday. Or we can go some time during the week."

"Sure, Mom," Quinn said, then stuffed her mouth with more eggs, hoping to discourage any more questions.

While she drove to rehearsal, Quinn couldn't help but smile at the feeling that her mother might be going back to normal. She swept the somewhat troubling invitation to church to the back of her mind and focused on the breakfast, on the clean clothes and counter tops. As she arrived at rehearsal and strode into the theatre, she couldn't help but think that her quest to find Beth was the right thing to do. Judy had been a mess three days ago, but had clearly pulled herself together for her daughter's sake. Girls needed their mothers, their real mothers, in their lives.

As she entered the theatre, she saw Rachel and Jason standing together. Rachel seemed to be urgently questioning him, and he looked reassuring. Quinn was distracted, though, because Rachel was wearing jeans and a red and white baseball-type shirt that barely covered her midriff. Quinn had never seen the shorter girl in anything other than the "librarian chic" fashion to which she so faithfully subscribed. Well, and, of course, costumes for the glee club. She had to admit that in regular clothing, and in an environment that she clearly felt comfortable in, Rachel looked, well, nice. Quinn refused to let her brain go any further than that four letter word.

Rachel and Jason both stopped talking when they saw her, but Quinn pretended not to notice and waved to them. She glanced at her phone, noting that it was, indeed, 10:30, the time that she and Jason had agreed upon the day before to get things set up before everyone else arrived.

"You're here early," she offered at Rachel in greeting. The brunette smiled.

"I had hoped that Rod would be here so that I could discuss the possibility of transferring that 'Stars and the Moon' solo to my own part, but I see he hasn't shown up yet." Quinn looked around and noticed that the only other person in the room was Allan, who was arranging piles of 2x4 onstage.

"I guess not."Quinn said, setting her bag down.

As it turned out, Allan had a pretty good handle on the set-up for the day, so the three of them sat in the house while they waited for the cast to arrive.

"You look nice today, Quinn," Rachel said, turning slightly in her seat.

"Rachel, I'm wearing sweats."Quinn said with a raised eyebrow, slightly taken aback by the comment.

"Ah, yes, well," Rachel stuttered, and Quinn could see Jason eyeing her incredulously, "What I meant was…you look…relaxed."

Quinn watched as Jason rolled his eyes, smirked, and turned his head in the opposite direction.

"Well, so do you." Quinn answered, feeling awkward. Rachel cleared her throat quietly and looked extremely relieved when the tension was broken by the arrival of Rod, the other three actors, and a large group of burly men who were friends of Allan's.

They got to work immediately. Quinn was introduced to Sonya, a tiny, ancient Russian woman with a fierce personality who immediately seemed to size Quinn up as worthy. Quinn helped her with costume fittings all morning, watching her bony fingers measure what seemed like every mentionable body part on each of the actors. Rachel was last, and as they finished up Jason summoned them back to the theatre to help with the set.

Most of the actors had been sent to help Sonya pull already assembled costumes or find props amongst the great piles and boxes in the halls. Quinn was surprised that Jason hadn't sent Rachel off to do one of these less manual tasks, until she saw Rachel step right up to one of Allan's muscular friends and greet him like an old friend. Jason must have seen Quinn's dubious look because he chuckled and cocked his head at the comical combination of tiny girl and huge construction worker.

"Rachel has done a lot of shows here; in fact, I've known her almost as long as I've known you and your family. We both basically grew up helping on set work days, and Allan has taught us a lot."

Quinn nodded, watching as one of the men handed Rachel a piece of paper and gestured to the lumber and power tools onstage. As Rachel nodded and examined the plans, Jason clapped Quinn on the shoulder and said, "Ask her to show you how you can help."

Quinn glared at him, but as always he just walked away with the usual spring in his step. Quinn sighed, putting her pride on the shelf yet again as she approached Rachel.

"Jason told me to help you." she said. She couldn't help but return the brunette's wide grin with a small smile. _God, do I actually like Berry? _

"Wonderful! We are building the platform in this drafting." Rachel showed her the paper, which was printed with a computer generated plan for a large rectangular platform. It looked pretty simple, but Quinn wouldn't know where to start to realize it in the materials before them. Rachel, however, was a very patient teacher. In fact, Quinn had to admit, the other girl was far more patient that she herself would have been. Rachel showed her the circular saw, which was attached to a workbench on wheels.

"This is really called a chop saw most of the time," Rachel explained, using a tape measure to mark the correct length on a 2x4.

"Now, you're going to cut it to that length." she said, stepping back.

"Whoa, what, me? I've never done this before." Quinn said, putting her hands up and taking a step back. Rachel laughed and put a pair of safety goggles on herself, then stepped forward and placed a pair on Quinn's face. The action brought them within inches of each other, and Quinn could feel Rachel's breath tickling her skin as she leaned forward and husked, "What, Fabray, are you scared?"

Quinn stared into the dark brown eyes in front of her. Was Rachel Berry _flirting_ with her? She broke eye contact and stepped around the brunette, situating herself at the saw. Rachel stepped slightly to one side of her.

"You want to position the blade so that it will cut a little bit into the scrap side of the wood. If you cut right on the line I drew, your two-by will be too short by one half the width of the blade of the saw, which is about 1/16". The width of the blade that gets turned into sawdust is called the kerf, and you have to allow for it." She placed her tiny hands over Quinn's and moved the lumber into position; lingering a little longer than what was necessary. Quinn blinked, but before she had time to get upset, Rachel had moved away to steady one end of the "two-by."

Quinn pulled the trigger and brought the moving blade down slowly, like Rachel had taught her. The end result was a clean cut that Quinn was bashfully quite proud of. Over the course of the afternoon, Rachel taught Quinn how to construct the rest of the platform. Quinn wouldn't have even admitted it to herself, but Rachel's construction knowledge was actually kind of hot. By the time their dinner break came around, they had constructed two platforms and were both sweaty and covered in sawdust. Most of the cast and crew went out, but Quinn and Rachel decided to order sandwiches to be delivered, and ate them sitting in the rehearsal room.

"Oh my God, Gregory," Rachel said, referring to the older gentleman actor, "He added me on Facebook and once posted a status about some very inappropriate happenings with a lady friend. He thought he was sending a message!"

Quinn looked disgusted, then laughed loudly. She was sitting on the floor, her back resting against the old chaise lounge that Rachel had sprawled across dramatically. Quinn hated to admit it, but she was actually having a good time. In her own environment, Rachel's obnoxious personality became endearingly quirky.

"Ugh, I hate going on Facebook now. Santana and Brittany are at Cheerio's camp and keep posting pictures of their amazing abs, whereas I look more and more like the freaking Goodyear blimp." Quinn laughed lightly, stopping abruptly when Rachel's hand came to rest gently on her shoulder.

"Quinn, don't say that. You are so beautiful."

Quinn blushed madly, unable to arrange her feelings. Rachel clearly had no problem expressing her thoughts and emotions to other people, whereas Quinn could hardly sort hers out for herself.

That night she lay in bed, replaying every questionable comment and action of the brunette's.

_She must be trying to make friends with me_, Quinn thought. _She probably doesn't realize how awkward she's being because no one ever wants to talk to her._

She felt a tiny stab of guilt, thinking of the part she had had in promoting Rachel's sorry social state. Still, most people knew when they were flirting.

_Is she doing it on purpose? Why?_ Quinn thought wildly, _what could she possibly have to gain from that? _

Quinn thought of how closed off to romance she had been since Beth, then mentally shook herself at the thought of her daughter.

_She's the reason I'm doing this_, she thought. _Not to be friends with Berry. I have to figure out how she can help me get to Beth_.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long to post. I've been insanely busy. But here it is anyway. There's some strong opinions about adoption in here. Please don't be offended by them, they are things said in anger and I hope you won't think that they portray any judgment on my part in regards to those who have been connected to adoption. Otherwise, I hope you all enjoy! This chapter is un-beta'd. Please excuse any grammatical errors or typos. **

The shopping cart had a squeaky wheel. Under the fluorescent lights of the Lima Target Superstore, Rachel's hair looked darker, almost black.

"I still can't believe you are agreeing to spend money here," the brunette sniffed disdainfully.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "I still don't understand why I'm not allowed to shop here or eat at Chik-Fil-A."

Rachel sighed dramatically and stopped the cart, turning to look at the taller girl, whose lips turned up in a bemused grin.

"Because, _Quinn_, they are anti-gay, and as you know, I am very supportive of my two gay dads."

"I know," Quinn said, rolling her eyes again, "But how is a company anti-gay?"

"They give money to anti-gay causes! Did you know Target gave money to a politician who supported executing GLBTQQI people?" Rachel flipped her hair over her shoulder indignantly.

"Alright, what the hell does QQI stand for?"

"Queer, questioning, and intersexed," Rachel said as if this were the most basic of information. "And when Target was confronted about that, they said they stood by their actions and didn't regret giving that politician the money." Rachel added, widening her eyes and waiting for Quinn's reaction. They stopped at a rack of shirts and both began rummaging.

"Well, I'm still not sure who 'they' are." Quinn said finally, pulling a long-sleeved, plain black shirt off of the rack at the same time as Rachel held up an identical one. They laughed and put them both in the cart.

"I suppose I'm not sure who 'they' are, either," Rachel continued after a moment, "Those who make those types of decisions within the Target corporation, I suppose. Anyway, you shouldn't support them by consuming their products."

Quinn shrugged as she threw some long, plain black pants into the cart. Rachel trailed after her. Quinn could feel her watching her carefully.

"I have black shoes so I don't need to find any here." Quinn offered lamely. Before Rachel could continue her lecture, Quinn spotted a dress on a rack and went after it. It was dark purple and very short.

"That's a nice dress, are you going to try it on?" Rachel asked quietly, coming up behind her. Quinn shrugged.

"Why not?" The brunette persisted, picking it up and holding it against the taller girl. Quinn looked down at it. It was some kind of shiny silk-like material. Quinn couldn't even remember the last time she had bought something just for fun. And even so, she had never worn anything so sexy, beyond the occasional Glee club costume. It wasn't too much shorter than her Cheerio's uniform, she estimated. She silently took it from Rachel's hand and put it in the cart with a grin. Rachel returned the smile.

Rachel waited outside the dressing room while Quinn tried on the black clothes, which she needed to wear backstage during the show. Quinn sighed as she looked at herself in a pair of black pants, letting her mind wander momentarily. The week before, Rachel had come over to her house after rehearsal. Quinn hadn't had anyone over since she had moved back in with her mom. Most of her friends had long since stopped trying to hang out with her, ether because she had lost so much social status or because they had been put off by her depression. Even Mercedes didn't want to hang out. Quinn guessed she was glad to have her space back. Add to that her mother's constant drunkenness and the sorry state of the house, and Quinn wouldn't have allowed anyone over anyway. But now that Judy was acting mostly normal and Rachel was so enthusiastic to have Quinn for a friend the blonde had been excited to have her over. In fact, and now she even admitted it to herself, she liked Rachel and she liked having a friend again. Her determination to use her for information about Shelby and Beth had grown to reluctance. If there was one thing Quinn had learned about her shorter counterpart, it was that Rachel was highly intelligent, and Quinn knew she would see her motives right away.

The two of them had sat with their backs against the side of Quinn's bed, joking about this or that, making fun of Jason. When they quieted down, Rachel said, "Your mother seems very nice."

Quinn shrugged and dug her fingers into the plush carpet. "She's alright."

"She let you come live and live here again," Rachel added, looking around at the fine furnishings of Quinn's tastefully decorated bedroom.

Quinn quieted her nerves and asked, "Do you ever see yours? Your mom, I mean."

Rachel stilled beside her, "No."

Quinn changed the subject abruptly, sensing the shorter girl's discomfort. Since then, she had been wary of broaching the subject, at first because she didn't want to sabotage the plan, but now also because she didn't want to make Rachel dig up all of painful memories and emotions she seemed to be suppressing.

Now, standing in the dressing room at Target holding up the indulgent dress the other girl had encouraged her to try on, Quinn realized it had become more about Rachel than Beth. After all hadn't she started this whole thing in order to be sure her daughter wasn't being hurt? Now she realized she was conflicted. She had never expected to be worried about Rachel's feelings as well.

She slipped the dress on over her head and attempted to zip it, struggling in futility for a few moments before she finally opened the door to the dressing room abruptly, looking for Rachel.

The brunette girl had been standing outside the dressing room fiddling with one of the useless plastic numbers the attendant had left on the counter. She turned and upon seeing Quinn in the dress, promptly let the piece of plastic clatter onto the linoleum floor.

"Oh!" she explained, blushing, "You scared me, it looks good!" she scrambled to pick up the tag and place it back on the counter.

Quinn chuckled, having become more accustomed to Rachel's eccentricities. She refused to read into them any farther than that.

"Can you zip me up?" she asked, stepping back into the dressing room so she could look in the mirror. Rachel followed her, half-closing the door behind her.

Quinn felt her hesitate behind her, then felt her fingers ghost over the smooth skin of her bare back before grasping the zipper and pulling it upward slowly. Quinn held her breath, watching the dress conform to her shape as the zipper closed. Rachel's hands rested momentarily on the taller girls hips. Quinn looked at them in the mirror. The silence in the tiny cubicle was thick with something she couldn't name. After a beat, Rachel pretended to brush lint off of the skirt of the dress and dropped her hands to her side, stepping back. Quinn felt cold air hit the bared skin on her back and shoulders as Rachel moved away. She shivered, looking at herself in the dress. She looked good.

"You look..." Rachel trailed off. For once words appeared to be failing at her. Quinn could see her eyes fixed to her body in the mirror. She blushed and turned, unable to stop herself.

"I look what?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips. Rachel took a small step forward, unable to move her eyes from the tiny dress, missing the confused emotions evident on the taller girl's face.

"You look...good." she finished, and Quinn could see her mentally cursing herself for her poor grammar and lackluster vocabulary.

"Good?" Quinn asked, raising an eyebrow, unable to pass up the opportunity to tease the singer.

"Amazing." Rachel whispered, and suddenly Quinn's back was making contact with the cold mirror while Rachel's hot mouth pressed against her lips. Quinn's hands flew up to cup the brunette's face, holding her there as she parted her lips and slipped her tongue inside her mouth. Rachel responded by sliding her hands around Quinn's waist. Quinn caught Rachel's lower lip between her teeth, tugging it into her mouth. Rachel made a low groaning sound in the back of her throat. It was so full of want, it took Quinn aback, and suddenly the reality of what they were doing, what it meant, hit her. She pushed Rachel away gently, fear, adrenaline, and confusion pulsing through her veins in a red hot heat.

Rachel looked slightly disoriented, her lips slightly swollen, her cheeks flushed a perfect pink that made Quinn want to close the short distance between them once again. Instead she opened the door to the cubicle and waited for Rachel to leave. The brunette looked worried and hurt.

"Quinn," she reached out a tentative hand toward the blonde. Quinn stared at the wall beside Rachel's head, unable to meet her eyes.

"Please, just…" Alarm spread through Quinn as she felt tears fill her eyes and begin to fall down her face. She turned away from Rachel, angrily brushing the hot tears away.

"Quinn," she said again, putting a light hand on her arm. Quinn jerked away, her heart pounding. She heard Rachel leave and close the door. Quinn struggled for five minutes with the zipper of the dress, unwilling to ask Rachel for help again.

Quinn spent the car ride home in horrified silence. What had happened was far too much for her to process. Everything she had refused to acknowledge ever since she had started working on the show was suddenly forced into harsh perspective.

A sniffling sound from the passenger seat pulled her out of her frantic worries. Rachel's head was bowed, but Quinn could see her face distorted in misery, silent tears falling onto the clasped hands in her lap as she held back a sob with great effort. The sight broke Quinn's heart in two, and the overwhelming realization that she _cared _about Rachel so much broke over her in alternating waves of emotion and terror. As she pulled up to the Berry house, she saw Rachel turn to her out of the corner of her eye. She turned her face away, unable to look at the shorter girl's sorrow. She heard the door open, then Rachel stepped out and closed the door again. Quinn heard the sobbing begin through the car door the minute Rachel turned toward the house. Quinn pulled out of the driveway and drove away, tires squealing lightly on the pavement in her haste to distance herself from Rachel's pain.

Quinn lay in bed, staring at the shadows on her ceiling, trying to sort out her feelings. Starting at the beginning, she worked through wanting to be a good mother to Beth by making sure she was happy, befriending Rachel to get to Beth, and actually becoming friends with Rachel. Whenever she approached the Target Incident, she was overwhelmed with conflicting emotions. The only thing that still made sense was Beth, being Beth's mother, seeing Beth. Quinn grabbed on to the notion like it was a life raft. Still, the thought of making Rachel cry more, causing her more pain, made Quinn's head reel and she buried her head in her pillow and finally allowed herself to cry, feeling the guilt wash over her as she made up her mind.

The next day was the final rehearsal before opening night – dress rehearsal. The cast would be in their costumes for the first time and they would run the show as if there was an audience. Quinn met the only other crew member, a pimply faced middle school student who was awkward, shy, and very intimidated by Quinn. His name was Reese and Quinn found him incredibly annoying. Jason called them into the house for a quick meeting before the run started.

"Alright, we're very happy to have you here, Reese. I know we already gave you the general run through, but I want to remind you that you'll be handling the guys' costume changes and Quinn will help with the girls', but if either of you find you need an extra pair of hands, you can collaborate. Quinn will be on and off headset throughout the show, so if you need to reach me you can do it through her. Break a leg, guys." Jason sped off, the last minute panic settling onto his facial features as he tried to check in with everyone. Quinn tugged at her clothes. She felt like a ninja in all black as she walked backstage, Reese trailing behind her like a puppy. She wouldn't be surprised if he was drooling.

Stepping into the hallway near the dressing rooms, she saw Rachel preparing to perform, sipping hot tea from a travelling mug.

"Hi, Rachel," Quinn said with a bright smile. Rachel looked startled, blushed, then looked extremely sad before she finally arranged her features into a cheery grin in response. Quinn was so relieved that Rachel was silently agreeing to pretend that nothing happened, she didn't even scold her for drinking tea in costume.

The show went well, all of the technicalities having been worked out during the week before. Quinn felt almost cheerful for the first few songs of the show, until Rachel's first quick change.

Quinn had known that she would be helping her, they'd been running the show all week and each night Quinn had been in the wings to meet Rachel when she came offstage for the song before the change. But there hadn't been costumes before, and Quinn hadn't really thought of the reality of what this would entail: undressing Rachel Berry, possibly coming into contact with her bare skin, before helping her into another pretty dress that made her look incredible. Suddenly, Quinn's cheer was replaced with dread as Rachel's song came to a close and she heard the brunette's character shoes tapping across the stage toward her. Quinn grabbed the dress off of a rack that stood against the wall and braced herself.

One look at Rachel's face told Quinn that she had just had a similar realization, however Gregory was already singing his song and the show was moving forward. Quinn threw the dress across her arm and quickly unzipped the one Rachel was wearing. Rachel shimmied out of it, handed it to Quinn, and stood in her bra and panties, cheeks flaming bright red.

Quinn told herself not to look as she slung the old dress over her shoulder and readied the new one for Rachel to put on while she changed her shoes. _Don't do it,_ she told herself, feeling Rachel's eyes on her. She was thinking about chanting some old celibacy club mottos when her eyes fell on the taught, tanned skin of Rachel's stomach. Quinn's mind blanked completely as her eyes roamed from belly button to the soft curve of Rachel's breasts , the rounded hips, the long, golden legs…

Quinn helped Rachel pull the dress over her head in a hurry, furious with herself. As she zipped up the new dress and Rachel walked toward the stage once again, she thought she saw a smirk on the brunette's lips. Quinn hung up the old dress, cheeks flaming.

Opening night. Quinn had never been in a play before, and was soon discovering that opening night was somewhat of a religious holiday in the theatre. People brought thank you notes for all the members of the cast and crew, the older actress baked cookies, Rod gave a speech and the actors gave Jason and Quinn each a bouquet of flowers. Then all of the sudden she was telling the actors that the house was open, then that they were at "places," and finally the lights went down and the first song began. Quinn thought that all of the actors sounded especially incredible that night, and her appreciation for each of them grew exponentially, even Gregory. She could hear the audience laugh at all the right jokes and sigh at all the beautiful parts. Quinn couldn't believe that the people she had been working with for weeks were onstage, making all those people really _feel_ something together.

This time, Quinn made sure to avert her eyes throughout Rachel's costume changes, and at the end of the show everyone was hugging and laughing, high on an adrenaline rush provided by the roaring applause at the end of the show. They all went down the street to a late night coffee house to celebrate.

The actors milled around the coffee shop, talking loud enough to entertain the other patrons. Jason was engaged in an intense argument with Gregory over who was better, Andrew Lloyd Webber or Stephen Sondheim.

"You can't deny _Phantom_, Jason," Gregory said, pointing his finger in Jason's face.

"Yeah, well, now you can go see the _sequel_," Jason spat out disgustedly, "And c'mon, _West Side Story_? _Sunday in the Park with George_? _Into the Woods_? _Sweeney Todd_? You can't say _Cats_ beats all of them. I'll give you _Evita_, though."

Quinn shook her head, chuckling. She caught sight of Rachel at the other end of the shop, stuck in conversation with Reese and looking miserable.

"Hey, Rachel. Reese." Quinn said as she approached the two of them. "I hate to be rude but Rachel, can you come talk to me about that costuming issue you mentioned so I can tell Jason to put it in the performance report?" She made her eyes wide, signaling for Rachel to go along with the lie.

"Of course," Rachel said smoothly, "Please excuse me, Reese."

The two of them found a table in the back mostly hidden by a large potted plant. Rachel groaned, running a hand through her hair.

"Thank you, Quinn. I don't think he's ever talked to a girl before. It was excruciating."

Quinn laughed, peaking between the leaves of the plant to watch Reese looking around for them.

"How did you find your very first opening night?"

Quinn turned back to her, unable to keep the grin off her face, "Amazing! I've never been part of something like that before, where you just feel this…energy you're raising, like magic!" She felt foolish for sounding so cheesey, but she couldn't stop talking about it. "I've gotten a rush from cheerleading before, but nothing like that, where there's so many emotions."

"I'm so glad you enjoyed it." Rachel's eyes were sparkling, her hair falling around her face in soft curls. She looked so beautiful, so full of adoration for Quinn in that very moment, that the blonde couldn't face leading her on any longer.

"Rachel…how often do you hear from Shelby?"

Rachel looked taken aback at the abrupt change of subject. "Why?"

"I just wondered, you know, if you ever saw her." Quinn was inwardly cringing, screaming, running in the other direction. But she knew that this made more sense. That once Rachel figured it out, it would put an end to all of these confusing feelings.

"I told you, I don't talk to her very often. Why do you want to know?" Rachel's eyebrows were drawn together in confusion.

"I just wanted to know. Have you ever been to her house?"

"No," Rachel said, now looking cautious.

"Do you know where she lives?" Quinn threw aside her attempt to conceal her motives.

"Yes, I have her address. Why, Quinn? What is this about?"

"Have you seen Beth? Do you know how they're doing? I thought maybe you had seen them together or something." Quinn held her breath, staring at the tabletop. Rachel was silent for so long, Quinn finally looked up and saw the pain etched into Rachel's face.

"Is that was this was all about? This whole thing? Inviting me to your house, going shopping, the _kiss_?"

Quinn shook her head, putting her hands over her eyes. She couldn't believe she'd been so stupid to think that Rachel would answer her questions or help her when she had hurt her feelings so badly.

"At first, kind of, but I didn't think-" Quinn began, but Rachel cut her off.

"Shocking, Quinn, you didn't think. You didn't think how your actions would affect other people. God forbid you take someone else into account besides yourself." Rachel spat the words out like venom, each one falling onto Quinn's ears and burning like hot oil. Quinn clenched her fists under the table.

"That's exactly what I was doing, I was doing it for Beth, to make sure she was alright."

"No, Quinn, you were doing it for you. Because you were lonely and you missed her. But how do you think that would make her feel? Giving her up, then randomly inserting yourself into her life whenever you need to assuage your guilt or confirm that someone out there needs you. You're not her mom, and you never will be. You're just a girl who couldn't raise her daughter so she gave her to a stranger, someone who is loving her and taking care of her. And you don't know if she wants to know you, you're not giving her that choice because you want to see her." Rachel stood, angry tears on her cheeks. "Grow up, Quinn. Take it from someone who was thoroughly disappointed the woman who gave birth to her. Beth doesn't need you." The brunette stormed out of the coffee shop, leaving Quinn sitting in a stunned, hurt silence.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello! The semester is over, so expect to hear more from this story! Inspiration is bountiful after Tuesday's episode. :) Enjoy!**

Quinn lay in bed, watching the numbers of the clock change from one AM to two, three, four. She hadn't slept well in days, not since her fight with Rachel. Although she knew that what Rachel said about her relationship to Beth should have been on the forefront of her mind, she instead couldn't stop thinking about what Rachel had said the day before, after the Sunday matinee.

The two of them had spent Saturday's performance in a very uncomfortable silence. Rachel seemed to move back and forth between looking furious and looking completely shattered. Quinn looked so hangdog that Jason threatened to send her home if she didn't stop infecting the cast with her negative energy. Every time Rachel and Quinn were in the same room, the temperature seemed to drop twenty degrees, so they avoided each other. At first, Quinn was relieved. She was ashamed of hurting Rachel, and embarrassed at the things Rachel had accused her of. But after spending the Sunday matinee in the same hostile environment, she decided to try and apologize. After all, Rachel had forgiven her for all the slushies and name-calling. She decided to ignore the part of her conscience that said that this time was different, because of their friendship, and because of the Target incident.

After the final curtain call, Quinn performed her post-show duties at the speed of light, re-setting costumes, checking props back in to the prop cabinet, and giving Jason her notes for the report. Rachel used to wait for her to finish during technical rehearsals and after the opening night performance, but now Quinn would have to hurry if she wanted to catch the tiny singer before she went home. Quinn checked the dressing room and lobby before jogging out onto the sidewalk, under a sky heavy with rainclouds. She spotted Rachel unlocking her car and ran over to her.

"Rach, hold on," she put her hand on the car door so Rachel couldn't open it, "Please just talk to me."

"Why, so you can manipulate me some more? Do you have yet another self-serving plan I can assist you with? Preferably something related to an emotionally traumatic aspect of my own life. Please, Quinn, tell me what I can do you for." The brunette's eyes were burning with anger.

"Rachel, please, just listen. When I first saw you were in this show, yeah, I wanted to use you to get to Beth," Quinn began, holding up her hand when she saw Rachel open her mouth in a rage, "But that was before we became friends, and I realized how much I like you. As a friend." Quinn finished quickly. "I am so sorry that I hurt you."

"You're sorry now," Rachel spat out, and Quinn was horrified to see the tears welling up in those big brown eyes, "Now that you _know_ me and we're _friends_. And you let me kiss you," Quinn glanced around the empty street nervously as Rachel went on, "But before you couldn't have cared less if you walked all over my feelings. This is not how I expected this to go at all."

Quinn looked back around at her quickly. "How you expected what to go?" Rachel looked completely panicked. In her surprise, Quinn had moved her hand away from the car, and now Rachel had opened it and was climbing into the driver's seat.

"Rachel, wait, how you expected what to go? What do you mean?" But Rachel was already pulling into the street as a clap of thunder sounded and the skies opened up, drenching Quinn in a matter of seconds. But the ex-cheerleader continued to stand on the curb, different explanations for Rachel's words flooding her mind as rivulets of water streamed down the back of her neck.

Now, hours later, Quinn lay snuggled between warm blankets, curiosity pulling her mind in several directions. What on earth did Rachel mean? Had Quinn herself been in some devious plot of Rachel's, now gone awry? Was Rachel as confused by all these feelings as Quinn was? Was she even feeling those emotions? These questions mixed with the burning guilt she felt in her stomach until sleep became impossible. She lay there until her heard her mother moving around downstairs, then went to greet her.

"Hi, Mom," Quinn said to the open refrigerator door as she entered the kitchen. The door closed, and Russell Fabray turned to face her with a carton of milk in his hand. He was wearing boxers and an undershirt under the bathrobe that had been hanging, unused, in his closet for months. It was as if the last year had never happened. Quinn froze.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, the sight of his face making her stomach turn.

"What a kind welcome home," Russell said with a sneer. "I suppose you're not going to thank me for taking care of your mother these past few weeks."

"Taking care of her?" Quinn raged, throwing her hands up in exasperation, "What do you think I've been doing for the past four months?"

"Letting her drink herself into the ground, apparently," Russell mused, pouring the milk into the bowl of cereal on the counter. "And before you go patting yourself on the back, let's not forget whose disgraceful behavior drove her to that end."

Quinn scowled and stormed into her mother's room, which was empty. Stalking back into the kitchen, she demanded, "Where's Mom?"

"Volunteering at the church. She told me you haven't been to services in months, it's disappointing to see that you have turned your heart against God."

Quinn felt like she was stuck in a nightmare. She pounded up the stairs, changing into jeans and a t shirt and pulled on her Cheerio's sneakers. She thrust her cell phone and keys into her pocket before running back down the stairs and out the door before Russell could intercept her.

She couldn't believe this. Driving down the road away from her house, unsure of where to go, all the signs she'd been too distracted to see clicked together in her mind. Her mother's sudden happiness, her sobriety. Quinn hadn't thought to question them at the time, but now she realized how blindly she'd been celebrating her mother's health. Millions of questions flooded her head, like whether Russell would kick her out again, or whether her mother would stand up for her this time. She wanted to scream, she wanted to talk to someone. She wanted Rachel, but the thought of showing up on the brunette's doorstep looking like an emotional wreck and being turned away made her steer clear of the Berry house.

Instead, she found herself pulling into Finn's driveway. Big, dumb, puppy dog Finn, who looked like someone broke his favorite action figure whenever she was around. Things weren't perfect with him, but at least he knew firsthand what Russell was like. Besides, if he didn't want to talk to her, she could take it. She couldn't handle watching Rachel's retreating back one more time.

She tentatively knocked on the front door, trying to think of what she was going to say and second-guessing her decision to come here. Finn was probably still angry at her, even though they hadn't seen each other in months. She was thankful Mrs. Hudson was at work as the door swung open and Finn filled the doorframe.

"What are you doing here?" he said after a moment, looking angry and confused. Quinn immediately regretted knocking on the door.

"I just…my dad…" she stumbled, suddenly realizing that she was doing right now what Rachel had accused her of opening night. Here she was, using Finn as refuge and therapist when she had already hurt him in so many ways. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, "I shouldn't have come here."

"Finn? Who is it?" Quinn felt her stomach drop as Rachel came into view behind Finn, who moved aside a little and put his arm around her. Rachel looked haughty and angry for a moment before she saw the anguish on Quinn's face, her reddened eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

"Quinn?" But Quinn was already running back towards her car. Behind her, she heard Finn say, "Come on, Rach."

Anger, hurt, and jealousy overwhelmed Quinn as she climbed back into her car and roared out of the driveway. She had nowhere to go, the theatre was dark until the Wednesday night show, and she couldn't face her father for two whole days. Pulling the car to the side of the road a few blocks from her house, she scrolled through her phone desperately looking for someone who was still talking to her. If Finn was any indication of the general sentiment towards her in the Glee club, then Kurt, Artie, and Tina were probably out. She and Santana hadn't gotten along in ages, so Brittany wouldn't be any help, either. Puck was completely out of the question, and even though she and Mercedes were on good terms, she couldn't imagine imposing on her again. The fact that the other girl had yet to make contact with her since she moved out was proof enough that she needed her space. That only left one person.

As she dialed Jason's number, she realized that once again she had gone through everyone she knew, looking for someone to use, but she was desperate enough to ignore the return of the stabbing guilt long enough to talk to Jason.

When she returned home to grab some of her things, her mother had already finished volunteering and was sitting on the couch with Russell, who was reading the paper as if it were just any day, and he hadn't turned her away and then left with his secretary. Both of her parents looked up and smiled at her as she entered the living room.

"Hello, Quinnie," Russell said cheerfully. She stared at him, then at her mother, who was beaming at her.

"Don't you have a job, or a secretary, to get back to?" Quinn sneered, unable to contain her anger at her father's two-facedness.

"Quinn! Your father came home because he wants to try again, because he loves us. We'll be able to be a family again! Don't ruin this." Her mother hissed the last part at her as her smile became a grimace. Russell merely looked on with a bemused smirk.

"Don't you ruin it!" Quinn heard her voice rise in pitch hysterically, "We were a family, me and you. He came back because his secretary probably doesn't let him treat her like shit, like you do."

"Quinnie, don't speak to your mother like that. I know I've done wrong, but we all have sins. And I love you both very much." Russell's words were like honeyed venom. Quinn ran up the stairs, tripping on the last one and smacking her knee on the wooden floor of the landing. She swore loudly and charged to her room, grabbing her old Cheerios duffel bag and filling it with clothes and sundry items as she heard her father's footsteps on the stairs. She finally filled her school bag with her laptop and the binder she was keeping all the paperwork for the show in.

"It's for the best," Russell said from the doorway, "Your disgraceful sins bring too much down on your mother. She was falling apart because of you."

Quinn packed her phone charger and grabbed her bags, waiting for him to move out of her way, looking through him.

"If you come back again, she'll drink herself to death. Just remember that." He stepped aside, and Quinn forced herself to walk calmly down the stairs, back through the living room. Judy stood up at the sight of the bags.

"Oh, Quinnie, don't go again, it'll be alright, you'll see," she began. Quinn looked at her.

"Don't go again? Do you remember me having a choice the first time? Mom, why can't you see that he's the one who causes all of the problems?"

But Judy Fabray just stood there, wringing her hands, and she remained there for long minutes after her daughter had disappeared through the front door.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thank you guys for sticking with this story through the long break I took for finals. :) This chapter is a little short, but I wanted to update again as soon as I could. I'll have the next chapter up shortly. Enjoy!**

Quinn's car was parked in the street outside the apartment building that held the address Jason had given her over the phone. Again, he had directed her to a part of town that she had never seen before, several blocks east and south of the theatre, on the far edge of downtown. She stared at the chain link fence surrounding the parking lot, wondering if she would be living like a nomad on other people's couches for the rest of her high school career. Mercedes' house hadn't been too far from her own, in a nice neighborhood that was familiar to her, in a large home that greatly resembled her own in the way that many subdivision houses do. This apartment building was grungy, to put it lightly, and although Quinn didn't like to think of herself as any particular snob, the most lower-class home she had ever been in had been Finn's, or Puck's, and theirs were decidedly middle class compared to Jason's arrangements. Still, Quinn felt a rush of gratitude as Jason came into view, trotting down the cement stairs toward her car. Quinn climbed out as he approached.

"Are you okay?" Jason hugged her tightly, and she found it was exactly what she needed. She put her arms around him and squeezed back, unable to find the words to answer his question. He pulled back to look at her.

"I know," he said, rubbing her upper arms, "I've been where you are, believe me. Come inside, my brother is at his girlfriend's place for the night."

Jason grabbed the two larger, hastily-packed suitcases from her backseat. Quinn had had the foresight to bring luggage this time, and packing had been easier the second time, knowing what she had missed and what she hadn't needed the last time. She grabbed her purse and backpack from the passenger seat and followed Jason up the stairs, shaking her head as she realized she'd been kicked out of her home twice before her seventeenth birthday. This seemed the sort of thing to happen to a girl in a Lifetime movie about misguided teens, not to Quinn Fabray, former cheerleading captain, straight A student, daughter of Russell and Judy. Her life a year ago now seemed like someone else's life, and as she watched Jason push open the door to his apartment she felt in transition, on the verge of something new. It was clear that things would never go back to the way they were before she had gotten pregnant, and she knew that she couldn't remain in limbo like this. Was Beth a part of that? Was her need to see her more about clinging to this in between place, avoiding moving forward?

"Quinn?" Quinn realized she'd been standing on the threshold of Jason's apartment for several long minutes, staring at the mottled gray carpet. She blinked, shook her head, and stepped inside, unable to keep herself from attaching a symbolic stride out of her "limbo" to the movement. She almost laughed at her inward dramatics. _This is something Rachel would do_, she thought, and then grew sober at the thought of the brunette with Finn's arm around her. She looked up at Jason, who was looking very concerned.

"I'm sorry," she said, putting her backpack on the floor beside her, "I'm just distracted after everything that happened today." She swallowed, took a breath, and then smiled at him. "Thank you so much for letting me stay here."

Jason led her to the sagging couch, which stood across from an ancient TV set. Quinn took a moment to survey the apartment, the kitchen tucked into a back corner and sectioned off by the breakfast bar that lacked the stools to make it functional, the sparse living room, and a small hallway that branched off to either side, with a door in the middle. Everything was painted an inoffensive white, and neither Jason nor his brother Paul had bothered to hang anything on the walls.

"I'd give you a tour, but you can pretty much see everything already. That door," he gestured to the middle door in the hallway, "is the bathroom, and my room is to the left. Paul's is to the right. You can sleep right here." He patted the couch. "It's actually pretty comfortable. And you're welcome here as long as you need, okay?"

She nodded, thanking him again, then ran her hand through her hair, leaning back against the sofa, which was surprisingly fluffy and soft.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jason asked, watching her. She almost shook her head, her reflexive response to that particular question, but this time she paused, recalling her conversation with Jason on the day they had eaten lunch in the deli and he had asked her to work on the show. _Annie told my parents I was gay and they kicked me out_, he had said, _Some people are gay and they don't even realize it_. Quinn thought about her dramatic step into this apartment, her movement out of purgatory, her choice to be in control of her life.

"They didn't kick me out," she said, "I left. I don't know if it was just because of my dad, or everything else that happened today. I wasn't going to leave like that, at first. I left the house because I needed to get out, to process what had been going on between my parents for the past couple of months. And I wanted to talk to Rachel," Jason nodded knowingly, and Quinn paused before going on, "but she's angry with me, and so I went to Finn's house because I had nowhere else to go, and she was there," Quinn heard her voice catch and realized there were tears streaming down her face. "She hates me," she whispered miserably.

Jason put his arm around her. "Oh, honey," he said softly, "she does _not_ hate you. She's just frustrated with you, but that's unfair; this is confusing for you."

Quinn was silent as she wiped her tears away with the back of her hand, angry with herself for being so emotional. This _was_ very confusing for her, but to agree with him seemed to be admitting to something she'd been trying to deny for ages. Instead, she focused on her guilt.

"I've been so horrible to her since the day we met, and she's always…" Quinn struggled for words, thinking of all the times that Rachel had been kind or supportive. Even when she had done something that had hurt Quinn, she had apologized, even though they weren't friends and there was truly nothing between them to repair.

"She's always cared about you." Jason finished. Quinn nodded.

"I'm sure she was miserable when she found out that I was working on the show, that I was intruding on her safe place and real friends. I know that she hates me." Quinn said again, looking down at her hands. Jason's sigh was almost exasperated as he shifted on the couch so that he was turned to face her.

"I wasn't supposed to tell you this," he said, and Quinn looked up, "but I am so sick of both of you feeling so sorry for yourselves. Rachel asked me to bring you onto the project. I'm not going to lie, I wasn't thrilled with the idea after having dealt with the drama your sister put me through, but she practically begged me to convince you to do it. She said she was worried about how depressed you were and that she wanted the chance to get to know you better." Quinn was staring at him, several things in her mind clicking into place. "Yeah, I can see I don't need to explain to you what that means."

Quinn realized her mouth was hanging open and closed it. Jason's tone returned to comforting as he placed a hand on her shoulder, "I'm so sorry about your dad, and about seeing Rachel with Finn. But I promise you, that doesn't mean what you seem to think it does, and I promise that she doesn't hate you. I'll leave you alone now, I'm going to bed." He disappeared into his bedroom and returned shortly with a pillow and blanket that were worn, but clean. Quinn sat on the couch for several minutes, reviewing the many realizations that had just come to her. Then she stood, pushed her bags into a corner of the living room and lay down to go to sleep in her jeans and t-shirt. She pulled her phone charger out of her backpack, found an outlet near the couch, and plugged her phone in, setting it on the floor next to her. She lay there on the couch for a few moments before picking up the phone again, opening it, closing it, putting it back, picking it up again. She scrolled to Rachel's name and rested her thumb on the call button, but couldn't bring herself to do press it. Instead she put the phone back down and stared at the ceiling, missing the red numbers of her alarm clock that usually accompanied her sleepless nights.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hello everyone, I hope you enjoy! I've been think you might like shorter, more frequent updates to longer, less frequent ones, but if I'm wrong you should tell me. I really would just like to thank you for all of your kind reviews, I really appreciate them. **

Quinn began her job search the next day. While Paul had been perfectly pleasant and welcoming when she had met him that morning, she could tell he was hoping her stay wouldn't be an extended one. Finding a job was part of what she was inwardly referring to as "crossing the threshold." This time she didn't have being pregnant as an excuse to lean on Finn or Puck for support, in fact, she couldn't completely blame her father for her troubles, either. This time, she had chosen to walk out of that house and she had no plans to return to it while Russell was presiding there. She pulled on the most professional outfit she could manage out of the mishmash of clothes she had thrown together. She ended up in the black pants she had bought to wear backstage and a nice yellow blouse. She tried not to think about the fact that she had purchased both at Target, a store she now avoided. Being productive made it easier to not think about Rachel, and whether or not she should call her. Confronting the singer had previously been frightening because of the possibility of rejection. Now, Quinn found she was terrified because of opposite reasons. So she focused on the job hunt, walking through Lima Square Mall with purpose, eyes scanning the window displays for "now hiring" signs. There were several issues that Quinn still had not resolved, the biggest being that she was sixteen and unable to attain a residence unless she sued her parents for emancipation, a feat she considered particularly intimidating. The legal fees would be astronomical, and she was sure it would require some kind of compliance on her parents' part, which would prove difficult. Still, she was unable to rule it out completely, even as her search remained fruitless throughout the day. She steeled herself the same way she would before dealing with her father or Coach Sylvester, and drove back to the apartment commanding herself to remain motivated. As she got ready for bed that night, brushing her teeth in Jason's bathroom and arranging her pillow on his couch, she resolved that she would not live out her high school days as a nomad.

The next day brought the return of the show, and Quinn and Jason carpooled to the theatre. He must have told someone that she was living with him, because everyone was being extra nice to her. Rachel, who was always at least thirty minutes early to everything, showed up uncharacteristically right at call time. She managed to avoid Quinn while simultaneously watching her like a hawk. Quinn wasn't sure whether she should tell her what Jason had told her, try to apologize again, or act like nothing had happened, so she just let Rachel watch her from afar. It wasn't until Rachel's quick change that the two of them came within three feet of each other. Rachel's eyes seemed to bore into her as she stood there in her bra and panties while Quinn slid the dress over her head. In the couple of seconds they had to spare before Rachel went back on, Quinn leaned forward and whispered, "Can we talk later?" Rachel's nod was quick and over her shoulder as she rushed to get onstage.

Quinn was performing her post-show duties when Jason found her after the show.

"Can I ask you a favor?" he was grinning, and Quinn nodded apprehensively. "Will you lock up for me? I'm going out, one of my friends from school was in the audience tonight and he can drive me home." Quinn raised an eyebrow playfully and took the keys from him. After all of her work was done, she sat at the edge of the stage while actors and technicians left the theatre, most of them going home to sleep before they had to get up and go to their day jobs. Rachel appeared, wearing one of her little skirts and a polka-dotted blouse. She took a tentative seat beside Quinn, who waited until the theatre had been quiet and still for a few moments before she looked at the shorter girl beside her. Rachel was staring at her, looking concerned.

"What happened with your dad?" she asked, "I heard you're staying with Jason. Did he kick you out again?"

Quinn shook her head, "I left."

"That's really brave," Rachel said, "I wouldn't be able to do that."

"No, but you go to school and get hell every day." Quinn responded, looking at her out of the corner of her eye as she left off the "from me" that she felt should have been attached to the end of that sentence.

"Well, now you know what that's like," Rachel said. Her hand was right next to Quinn's on the stage. Quinn stared at it, willing her own hand to cover it.

"You were right about me, I'm sorry," she said finally. Rachel shook her head.

"I shouldn't have said it, though. Everyone uses people in some way," after a pause, Rachel continued, "I used Finn the other day. I was upset after our fight and I went there because I knew he still has feelings for me."

Quinn shook her head, "Finn doesn't know what his feelings are."

There was a long pause, and then Rachel's voice sounded tiny, "Do you?"

It took Quinn awhile to look at Rachel, and when she did the hope, fear, and expectancy she found there panicked her. She took a breath, then another.

"I know I like you," she said, and looked at their hands again, side by side, "And as more than a friend." That same fear, of acceptance and rejection, wouldn't allow her to raise her eyes. She sat, paralyzed, as Rachel's hand closed over hers.

"I suppose you already know how I feel about you, Quinn."

It was the sound of her name that seemed to break the spell, and this time it was Quinn's lips who found Rachel's, her hands fumbling nervously against the brunette's face, neck, waist. Rachel gently placed one hand on Quinn's cheek, let it fall to her neck, and Quinn's movements became quieter, less frantic, as their lips moved against each other. Quinn's tongue explored Rachel's mouth, tentatively at first, and then a sound of pure longing freed itself from the brunette's throat and Quinn felt it travel through her, setting her nerves on fire. She leaned forward, feeling Rachel's hands on her waist, moving upwards until they rested hesitantly just below her breasts, before they were cupping her through her shirt. Quinn felt her body turn to liquid, the way she knew it should have with Finn and Puck. The implications of that realization made her pull away, panting slightly.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I still need to..." she trailed off, unsure of what it was she still needed to do.

Rachel's eyes were hazy and dark, and after a moment of silence she turned toward the taller blonde, reaching for her, "Please don't…go away, like you did the last time."

Quinn turned toward her again, putting her hand in the one Rachel extended towards her. The fear and vulnerability in Rachel's face nearly broke her heart.

"No, I won't."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Alright, so I took forever getting this one written. I am not too happy with it, it seems my muse has left me and writer's block has set in. :( Hopefully you guys will like it anyway. The good news is I've already started on the next one! The bad news is I am going to New York pretty soon and probably won't write too much during my trip. But I will try to write lots during the meantime! Please enjoy this chapter! **

"I think you should do it," Rachel said, her fingers gently combing through Quinn's hair. The two of them were sprawled across the couch in the living room of the Berry house. In the days since the kiss in the theatre, Quinn had spent increasingly more time here. This was due mostly to the fact that Jason's friend, Marco, who had taken him out that night, had since become his boyfriend, and being around the two of them in that tiny apartment was unbearable. Quinn also had to admit that although they hadn't spoken about their relationship to one another since that night in the theatre, the physical liberties they were now taking with each other made her feel at home with the brunette. Her fingers in Quinn's hair, for instance, or the way Quinn's hand was resting on Rachel's thigh. It was a level of comfort and intimacy that Quinn hadn't realized had been missing in her life until now.

At present, the two of them were staring at the screen of Rachel's laptop, reading about legal emancipation on a website about Ohio law.

"It just seems so complicated," Quinn said, scrolling through long pages of text.

"You need to find an attorney who can help you. Would you consider talking to a friend of my dads'?" Rachel asked. Quinn shrugged, still feeling overwhelmed and not one hundred percent certain that this was the right path for her.

"Just talking to her doesn't mean you're committing to anything. I think you could really benefit from it." Rachel looked hopeful, slowly drawing her fingers through blonde hair.

"That's true. I guess it couldn't hurt." Quinn glanced at Rachel. "Rach, can I ask you something?"

"You just did," Rachel responded, "but yes, go ahead." She smiled the way she always did when Quinn called her Rach.

"What was going on with you and Finn when I saw you at his house?" Quinn didn't want to admit how badly she'd wanted to ask that question. She was jealous, but at the same time wanted to believe that nothing had happened between the two of them. She looked at Rachel, whose smile had vanished.

"I told you, I was very upset and wanted to be around someone who I knew really liked me," Rachel explained defensively, "I'm not proud of myself for using his feelings to boost my own self-esteem, but it's the truth."

"I know," Quinn picked at a loose thread at the hem of her shirt, "but I mean, did you…do anything? With him?"

There was a pause, then Rachel put a hand over Quinn's, "Quinn, I don't have any feelings for Finn. I was so confused when you two were dating. I thought I liked him because I was so jealous seeing the two of you together. It took me awhile to realize I was jealous of him because he had you. And no, we didn't do anything that day."

Quinn looked up at Rachel again, those brown eyes so close to her own, the brows knitted together with worry.

"He doesn't have me now," Quinn said, and Rachel shook her head, her expression softening as she smiled. Quinn placed a hand against the soft, golden skin of Rachel's neck, watched the way the brunette's lips parted in a soft sigh, her eyelashes fluttering closed. Quinn leaned forward, closing the short distance between them, placing a soft kiss on Rachel's jaw line, followed by another, and another. She moved her hand to the brunette's shoulder so that she could continue her line of kisses to Rachel's neck. When her lips touched the spot just under Rachel's ear, the shorter girl let out a soft moan and gripped Quinn's knee. Quinn grinned and kissed the spot again experimentally. Rachel angled her head to allow for better access. The taller girl blew gently on the spot, then slowly ran her tongue across it. Rachel's soft groans and sighs were accompanied by a loud moan when Quinn cupped her hand around her breast through her shirt. The blonde wasn't sure what had suddenly made her so bold, but she accredited it to Rachel's confession. She hadn't realized how much the unanswered question about that day at Finn's had been weighing on her. Now that they had both essentially confessed to their jealousy, Quinn felt secure enough to gently push Rachel to a laying position on the couch and hover above her, their legs entangled, Rachel's laptop forgotten on the coffee table.

At that moment, the front door burst open and Hiram came bustling into the living room. Rachel and Quinn sprang apart at once, and Quinn felt her face flush with color as she leaned against the far arm of the couch, trying to look like she hadn't just been feeling up this man's daughter in the middle of his living room.

"Hello girls," Hiram said. He had gotten used to Quinn's presence over the past few days. He was carrying grocery bags into the kitchen, and Rachel and Quinn got up to help him unload the car.

"Daddy," Rachel began when they were all back in the kitchen unpacking the shopping bags, "Do you think Quinn could meet up with Lexie some time and ask her for some legal advice?"

Hiram squinted at Quinn through his thick spectacles, "Is everything alright with you, honey?"

Quinn nodded emphatically, "I'm fine!" she smiled a little too wide, "I just have some questions about…something."

Mr. Berry looked at her, then nodded, "Of course, I can give you her number. Just tell her you're a friend of Rachel's." Quinn thanked him, and Rachel grinned at her. Quinn wished she could feel as confident about the situation as Rachel seemed to.

The closing weekend of the show was approaching, and for the past two days Alexandra Levine's phone number had been burning a hole in Quinn's pocket. Every time Rachel asked if she had called "Lexie" yet, Quinn had used her failing job search as an excuse. Truthfully, Quinn was still hesitant. As she sat in her car at the tenth stop of the day, a McDonald's that wasn't hiring, she felt her desperation hanging over her in a dark cloud. It was the threat of losing the resolve she had been building up for so long that made her pull the little slip of paper out her pocket and dial the numbers that Hiram had so carefully scribed for her.

"Law offices of Barker & Levine, this is Amber, how can I help you?" the voice on the other end of the line sounded bored and miserable.

"Uh, hi, I'm calling for Alexandra Levine, I'm a friend of Rachel Berry's?" Quinn winced as her sentence ended in a question, making her sound uncertain and hesitant.

"Hold, please." There was a click, and cheerful Muzak began to play. Quinn let her head fall back against the headrest and took a deep breath. She sat up again when she heard the second click.

"This is Alexandra Levine," the voice was sharp and focused, and Quinn imagined a woman in a tight-fitting power suit and thin, square-framed glasses behind a large, impressive mahogany desk, surrounded by tall bookshelves full of legal dictionaries and case files. She shook her head to clear it, determined to sound as professional as the woman on the other line.

"Hello, this is Quinn Fabray, I'm a friend of Rachel Berry's. Her dad said you might be able to give me some legal advice." Quinn focused on keeping her nerves at bay so her voice would sound strong and even.

"Yes, Ms. Fabray, Hiram mentioned that. What can I help you with?"

"Well, I left my parents' house. I can't live with my father, and I was hoping to get more information about becoming legally emancipated," Quinn hadn't been expecting to explain all of this over the phone, and was hesitant to provide so much information about her personal struggles to someone she had barely met.

"Unfortunately, Ms. Fabray, there are no laws supporting legal emancipation of a minor in the state of Ohio, unless you plan to be married or join the military."

"Oh, I don't..." Quinn hated how easily her strong voice had been shattered into a wavering mess. She took a deep breath and said, "Actually, I've read that there are some loopholes. I'm already living outside their house and I'm looking for a job."

There was a pause before the woman spoke again. "Alright, Ms. Fabray. Talk to my secretary and set up an appointment with me."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Unlike theatre, I don't know anything about how law offices work. I've done a little bit of research into Ohio family laws and the Ohio Bar, but to be perfectly honest I'm not committed enough to learn everything there is to know, so I hope any of you with a working knowledge of the Ohio legal system will not be insulted! :)**

As it turned out, Alexandra Levine had an opening the next day, and Quinn had a hard time convincing Rachel not to go with her.

"But she's like my aunt! I've known her my whole life. I just want to be there for you," Rachel said, laying a hand on Quinn's shoulder.

Quinn remained silent, partly because she didn't know how to tell Rachel that this was something she wanted to do alone, and partly because those words made her question, again, exactly what the two of them were to each other. The truth was, though, that Quinn was terrified to go to the lawyer's office, and as she looked at Rachel, she realized the shorter girl could read her fears as easily as she could read music, and that was why Rachel was pushing so hard to accompany her.

"I'll introduce the two of you and then stay in the waiting room. I thought you might appreciate the support," Rachel looked hopeful.

"Alright," Quinn said after a moment, "You can come and introduce us."

Rachel's relieved smile was infectious, and Quinn was grinning along with her right up until they got into the car, when her nerves kicked in once again.

"You're very quiet," Rachel remarked. Quinn only shrugged, feeling the shorter girl looking at her from the passenger seat. Rachel reached across the center console and grabbed Quinn's free hand. "Remember, you're going to speak with her, and learn about your rights. You're not committing to anything. You can relax."

Quinn nodded, and did feel a little better as they pulled up to one of the few tall office buildings in downtown Lima. It wasn't far from where her father worked, and Quinn had always been impressed by the buildings when she was little, before she had travelled so many places with the Cheerios. Still, Quinn was once again glad that she had brought Rachel with her because the shorter girl knew exactly where she was going once they got inside the building, whereas Quinn would have had to wander through the winding hallways full of identical doors with identical placards beside them, declaring the businesses within.

A short elevator ride and several twists and turns later, Rachel was opening one of these doors besides which a placard stated "Law Offices of Barker & Levine." Quinn took a deep breath and followed Rachel through the door.

There sat who must have been Amber, behind a nice-looking wooden desk with a hands-free phone headset perched atop her dark hair. She looked up when they entered the small, modestly decorated waiting room.

"You must be Quinn," she remarked after glancing at the appointment book in front of her. She looked about the same age as the two of them. She was chewing gum and had on the bitchiest face Quinn had ever seen, and this after spending two years on the Cheerios with Santana. Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Yes, she is. Is Mrs. Levine in her office?" Rachel started toward a wooden door on the left.

"Hang on, you can't just go-" Amber began, but Rachel was already opening the door. Quinn didn't know whether to be embarrassed or grateful that she apparently wouldn't have to stay with Amber any longer. She followed Rachel into her "aunt's" office.

Quinn saw at once that her previous imaginings of what Alexandra Levine and her office looked like were pretty much spot-on. She looked around at the tall, imposing bookcases, the huge desk, and the plush rug beneath her feet. And then there was Alexandra herself, who was indeed wearing a grey power suit with slacks and had her blonde hair pulled back, fashionable square glasses perched on her nose. She was, at present, sitting behind the desk with her cell phone to her ear, but she looked up and grinned when she saw Rachel.

"Okay honey, I have to let you go," she was saying, "my next appointment just came in. I love you. Yes. Okay. Okay, bye."

She stood to hug Rachel, who ran around the desk to greet her.

"Was that Angie?" Rachel asked, "How is Elijah?"

"Yes, and fine, we're all fine," the lawyer chuckled, then looked at Quinn.

"Oh, yes," Rachel said, remembering herself, "Quinn, this is Alexandra Levine, Aunt Lexie, this is my…Quinn."

Quinn wasn't sure what Rachel had barely kept herself from calling her. Her what? Fellow Glee clubber? Friend? ...Girlfriend? Whatever the case, she was blushing and Alexandra was extending her hand to Quinn with an eyebrow raised.

"Nice to meet you, Rachel's Quinn. Please call me Lexie. I'm sorry if I seemed a little abrupt on the phone the other day, but I had a client in my office."

Quinn shook her hand gently, "That's okay, it's nice to meet you, I'm Quinn."

"Lexie and her wife have an adorable baby boy named Elijah-" Rachel began, and Quinn felt her face lose its color at the word "baby." Rachel stopped talking immediately and turned bright red. "That is to say, they were married only a few years ago and I performed at their wedding, perhaps you saw the video of it on my MySpace profile." As she stopped to take a breath, she seemed to notice the bemused look on Lexie's face and Quinn's still-pale expression. "Anyway, um, I'll be in the waiting room," she finished as she edged toward the door.

"Rachel, please don't practice your vocal scales out there. We got complaints last time," Lexie called as the door closed behind the shorter brunette. The lawyer settled herself in behind her desk and motioned for Quinn to take a seat.

"So let's go over a few things here, Quinn. Give me some back story. Why don't you want to live with your parents?"

Quinn took a deep breath. "I got pregnant, and my dad kicked me out. I lived with my boyfriend, then the baby's father, and finally with a friend until my parents split up and I moved back in with my mom. The baby was adopted by Rachel's mom, and now my dad just showed up at my house again and I left." Saying it out loud made Quinn realize how insane the past year had been for her. She felt her throat beginning to close and took another deep breath as Lexie made some notes on a legal pad.

"Well, that's quite a complicated situation. Does your dad know about you and Rachel?"

Quinn felt her face go pale for a second time. "What about me and Rachel?"

Lexie looked at her for a long moment before shaking her head. "Nevermind. Like I said the other day, there is no law in Ohio that gives you the right to become legally emancipated, however the courts have been known to grant it in cases where the minor is already supporting themselves and the parents have let them live out of the house. Do you have a job?"

Quinn shook her head, "I've been looking, but I guess all the kids who came home from college for the summer got there first."

Lexie considered her for a moment. "I really want you to think about this, Quinn. If you decide to take your parents to court, you will probably not be able to repair your relationship with them. We would have to prove that they cannot provide a stable home. That may require airing some of their dirty laundry in court, which I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate. And if you aren't granted your rights, you may be ordered to return home to them."

Quinn was silent for a moment. The thought of broadcasting her mother's drinking, her father's verbal abuse, and his absences, before a court full of strangers was frightening, but the thought of having to live with her parents after she had forced them through all that was absolutely terrifying.

"I will tell you, however, that if you do decide to proceed I will take your case on pro bono, which means I will not charge you for my services. You would still have to pay court fees, however."

"Thank you so much," Quinn said at once, but Lexie waved her off.

"The Ohio Bar Association recommends that I do a certain number of pro bono hours per year, plus I like to be able to do favors for Leroy and Hiram where I can."

Quinn nodded, but was unable to return Lexie's warm smile. This meeting was a lot to take in. She thanked the lawyer again and they shook hands over the desk. As Quinn turned to go, Lexie called out to her.

"You know Rachel is going to be asking you a lot of questions when you go out there, so be prepared." Quinn nodded. Lexie looked like she was about to say something, but seemed to think better of it. "Have a good one."

"You too," Quinn responded, opening the door and stepping out to ready herself for a deluge of questions from Rachel.

That night, Quinn lay sleepless on Jason's couch once again. Her thoughts flickered back and forth between needing to get off of this couch and out of Jason's apartment and the fears she had about going through with the lawsuit.

Her biggest fear was that she would be forced to live with Russell again, but there was also the fear of losing the case and still having nowhere to go. And even though she had seldom pitied her mother, wishing instead that Judy would take ownership of her alcoholism and get help, Quinn still felt pangs of guilt as she thought about leaving her mother with Russell, and about possibly using her addiction against her in court.

She felt so conflicted and uncertain, she pushed these thoughts away and instead focused on Rachel. She remembered how Rachel had taken her hand in the car, the feeling of Rachel's lips pressed against hers. Lexie's voice entered her head, _does he know about you and Rachel? Nice to meet you, Rachel's Quinn_.

Quinn didn't know if what she and Rachel were doing made her a different person, or made her gay, or made her a deviant. Her life leading up until now, her parents, her religion, her pastor, all told her yes, but she had learned a lot in the past year about what was wrong with the perfect picture of her previous life. Quinn wasn't sure if she could handle the uncertainty of trying to figure out if she really was gay on top of everything else, so as sleep finally claimed her, she settled in her mind on what Lexie had said earlier. She was Rachel's Quinn.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hello! Sorry for the delay in new chapters. I just got home from New York and am in withdrawal at home now. :( I saw lots of shows and I even met Jon Groff on the street outside the Golden Theatre! :O He was very sweet even though my girlfriend and I were kind of falling all over ourselves, lol. Anyway, this is where the story earns its "mature" rating, and probably what you've all been waiting for! Enjoy!**

The next day began the last weekend of the show. Quinn had mixed feelings. On one hand, she would be glad to devote more time to her job search, but on the other, she felt that the show had somehow freed her, had helped her take that step over the threshold into this new part of her life. She contemplated this as she waited for the shower. Since she had stayed awake for so long the night before, she had slept in and put herself last in line for the bathroom. Unfortunately, both Paul's girlfriend and Jason's boyfriend had also been staying in the apartment lately, which made for an extremely cramped living situation.

Just as she heard Jason getting into the shower and she was wondering how much hot water would be left for her, his brother Paul came out of his room and sat down next to her on the couch.

"Hey, Quinn, how are you?"

"I'm good, thanks," Quinn looked at him, "and you?" She hadn't really gotten to know him very well despite staying in his apartment. He was usually at his girlfriend's house and Quinn was usually at Rachel's.

"I'm doing well. Listen, I'm going to say this to you because I know Jason never will, but things are getting really crowded around here."

Quinn felt her heart sink and Paul went on. "We want to help you, and I remember how hard it was for Jason when our parents kicked him out. But this apartment is small, and now that Marco and Amanda are here all the time, it's getting tough with the five of us."

"I understand," Quinn said, her mind immediately racing for an alternative person to stay with.

"I'll ask around to see if anyone has some space," Paul was saying, "Thanks for understanding."

When Quinn and Jason got to the theatre that night, Rachel was already warming up at the piano. Jason was in the middle of trying to convince Quinn to stay with him.

"Listen, I know you didn't have any luck finding a job today. I can talk to Paul, and Marco doesn't have to stay with me all the time. I know how hard this is! You can stay with us, I promise it'll be okay," he had been upset when he had found out Paul had asked her to leave, but the last thing Quinn wanted was to be the cause of a fight between the brothers.

"Jason, no offense, but I don't want to live on your couch forever. Paul was just being honest. There's a problem, and you're too polite to ever tell me about it. But it's fine. I want to find somewhere else to live, I just need to find a job."

Rachel's head jerked up, and she looked offended. "You don't have anywhere to stay? Why didn't you tell me about this, Quinn?"

"Rach, Paul and I only spoke earlier today." Quinn didn't like the plans she could see forming in Rachel's mind.

"Why don't you stay at my house? My dads love you, and you could stay in the guest room until you find employment and can get your own apartment!" Rachel's eyes lit up, and Quinn could almost see the spreadsheet schedule of movie musical sing-a-long nights that the shorter girl was inwardly composing. Quinn shook her head.

"No, Rachel, I don't think that's a good idea." Even as Quinn said it, she thought about how nice it would be to have Rachel all to herself all of the time, but the implications of those thoughts reminded her of how complicated that situation could easily become. She shook her head again, even as Rachel opened her mouth to protest.

"I'm only asking you to stay with us, not take up a permanent residence. Besides, where else did you have in mind?" Rachel blinked innocently, but Quinn could see the smirk forming on her lips that meant she knew she had made a good point. Quinn didn't have anywhere to go, but she was sure staying with the Berrys was a bad idea. Neither her stay at Finn's nor Puck's house had ever done anything for her relationship with either of the boys. She suddenly became aware of Jason hovering around behind them and decided she didn't want to have this discussion in front of him.

"I'll think about it, okay?" Quinn said, and before she turned away to start towards backstage, she caught the look of triumph on Rachel's face.

Two days later, Quinn was moving her suitcases into the guest bedroom of the Berry house. It was located upstairs, across the hall from Rachel's room, and was decorated with all of the Broadway posters and framed playbills whose places in the singer's bedroom had been usurped by newer, more popular productions, or else had been gifted to Rachel by someone unfamiliar with her taste in musicals. As Quinn lugged the last of her suitcases into the room, she inspected an autographed playbill from _Billy Elliot_.

"I appreciated the heartwarming story of that production that cuts so close to my own," Quinn turned to find Rachel standing in the doorway, "But I moved it in here after it won best musical over _Next to Normal_ this year. Out of respect for Alice Ripley."

"Isn't this based on that movie about the little English coal miner's son who wants to be a ballet dancer? How is that close to your story?" Quinn raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"In any case, if you don't like them they can be relocated. I've been petitioning my dads to move some of them into the hall, but any redecoration of the house has to be met with a two-thirds majority approval and I have been continuously voted down. Maybe you can influence one of them. Daddy has taken quite a shine to you. We can bring it up when they get home."

Quinn chuckled and sat down on the blue bedspread. Besides the Broadway paraphernalia, the room had a light blue geometric motif that was pleasantly androgynous. It was such a contrast from her pink and white lace bedroom at home that it was comforting in its own way. She smiled at Rachel.

"No, I like it."

Rachel smiled and sat down next to her, smoothing her pleated skirt over the tops of her thighs and adjusting her argyle sweater. Quinn had the feeling that she was about to hear a rehearsed speech, undoubtedly practiced in the mirror with the hairbrush the night before.

"Quinn, I know that you are still unsure about a lot of what is going on in your life," Rachel began at a practiced speed, "but I want you to know that my dads and I, especially me, are welcoming you with open arms. I know that we may not have defined exactly what is between us," Quinn looked down, and Rachel grabbed her hand and her performance fell away, leaving Rachel's sincere expression and hopeful eyes peering up at the taller blonde. Rachel continued quietly, "but I want you to be sure about me. I'm here for you because I care about you."

Quinn gave Rachel a small smile, which was returned tenfold in a happy grin that transformed the shorter girl's face. Quinn couldn't help but lean forward and softly brush her lips against Rachel's before pulling back to look at her again.

"Thanks, Rach," she whispered, "I care about you, too." She placed her palm against Rachel's cheek, rubbing her thumb along her jawline. "I really do," she finished, and Rachel's eyebrows lifted in delight, like a child presented with a gift. Quinn felt her heart expand at the sight and leaned forward once more, feeling Rachel's lips respond against her own as she deepened the kiss. She tangled one hand in Rachel's long hair and put the other around her waist to pull her closer. She felt Rachel's lips part and she slipped her tongue between them, hearing a soft moan from Rachel that set her skin on fire. Rachel's tongue swirled around her own before the shorter girl broke away to place small kisses on Quinn's neck. The kisses quickly became more urgent, and Rachel was soon sucking at a spot at the base of Quinn's neck, where it met her shoulder. This time Quinn heard herself moan, low and throaty, a sound she had never heard herself make before. She allowed Rachel to push her back until she was resting against the pillows at the head of the bed, with one of Rachel's tanned legs on either side of her. Rachel moved her lips back to Quinn's, who caught her lower lip between her teeth. Quinn ran her hands from Rachel's waist to her thighs, made bare by her short skirt. Her skin was smooth and warm as she ran her fingertips over it lightly, and Quinn felt a rush of heat that caused her to squirm and move one of her legs upward, accidentally brushing up between Rachel's spread legs. This time Rachel's moan was loud, urgent. She pulled back, and they looked at each other. Quinn felt alarmed until she saw Rachel's darkened eyes, her moist, parted lips, her mussed curls falling around her face, her chest rising and falling as she panted slightly.

_Oh, God_, Quinn thought, _I'm doing that to her, that's because of me_. In an instant, she had flipped them over, Rachel panting beneath Quinn's ministrations, her tongue running over the soft flesh of Rachel's neck, her fingers tugging futilely at the neckline of the argyle sweater, trying to expose more skin. Rachel pushed herself up and deftly pulled the offending garment over her head, flinging it to the floor. Quinn didn't pause long enough to panic, but looked down at the taught, golden skin beneath her, the soft rounded peaks of Rachel's breasts rising with each labored breath beneath the simple cotton bra. Quinn lowered her mouth to Rachel's collarbone, running her tongue along it, kissing the dips and hollows it created before lowering her attention to the swell of her cleavage, skipping over the bra to lay kisses in a line to Rachel's belly button, around to her side and up again, then retracing those lines with her tongue.

By the time she returned to Rachel's lips, the singer was gasping, and Quinn could feel her hips shifting beneath her. She pressed her lips to Rachel's, then to her chest, above her bra. She carefully placed kisses right along the line of Rachel's bra, until the shorter girl grunted in frustration and pushed herself up a second time, unclasping it and pulling it off. Quinn made eye contact with Rachel, waiting to see the hesitation she felt mirrored there, but instead she saw only raw need, and an emotion Quinn had never seen in anyone's eyes before, when directed at her. She kissed the singer again, grazing her lower lip with her teeth before placing a hand around Rachel's breast and looking down, hearing her own sharp intake of breath rather than feeling it. The soft swell of them, peaked by small dusky nipples, the way her tiny waist tapered in beneath her chest. Quinn was sure she was beholding perfection. She experimentally rolled a nipple between thumb and forefinger, and Rachel groaned, her eyes fluttering closed. Quinn smirked wickedly, suddenly feeling powerful, something she hadn't felt since the beginning of the school year. She lowered her mouth and flicked the nipple with her tongue, moving her hand to toy with the other one. Rachel's hips bucked as Quinn continuously ran her tongue over the breast beneath her, then switching her attention to its twin. Rachel's hips gyrated beneath her, and Quinn lowered one leg between the two tan ones beneath her, and the shorter girl immediately ground down on it, moaning and clutching at Quinn's shoulders. Quinn kept her thigh where it was while she continued teasing Rachel's upper body, until the singer whimpered, "Quinn, please," as the movement of her hips became more frantic.

Quinn felt a small rush of nerves again as she slowly lowered her hand between the two of them, sliding it underneath the waistband of Rachel's skirt and panties. She banished her nerves when she felt the beginnings of soft curls, and when her fingers reached Rachel's slick, hot folds, she heard herself grown along with the girl beneath her. For a moment she ran her fingers up and down Rachel's slit, between her folds, over her entrance, but when she lightly grazed the shorter girl's clit and watched her hips buck upward, she kept her fingers there, massaging the small bundle of nerves as it got bigger and Rachel's quiet groans became louder and more insistent. Quinn varied the pressure she applied, changed directions, went from up and down to side to side; each new change brought about a different response from Rachel, who was panting and groaning with her head thrown back and her eyes squeezed shut, her mouth forming a continuous "O." When Quinn found a particular movement that made Rachel's hips rise off the bed and stay there, she repeated it, watching the other girl writhing beneath her.

"Oh, God, Quinn…" Quinn's name in Rachel's voice, husky and low with need, sent the blonde reeling. She sped up her movements, and suddenly Rachel went rigid and moaned loudly, one long, low, continuous sound that ended with, "Fuck, Quinn."

The combination of the obscenity, Quinn's name, the way Rachel's hair was spread out around her head in damp ringlets, and her swollen lips and flushed face made Quinn pull the other girl into a long kiss, pushing her tongue into her mouth. She didn't realize she had been moving her hips until she felt Rachel fumbling with the button of her jeans and pushing her hand past her panties. Suddenly Rachel's fingers were _there_, finally, and Quinn groaned, collapsing sideways onto the bed. Rachel kept her hand where it was, her fingers working Quinn's clit as Rachel moved her body between the taller girl's legs, and suddenly Rachel's fingers were at Quinn's entrance, slowly pushing their way inside, and Quinn was digging her nails into Rachel's back.

"Rachel, God, that feels…" but at that moment Rachel had begun curling her fingers, her thumb pressed against Quinn's clit, and Quinn forgot how to speak as her head fell back against the pillows.

"Yes, Quinn? How does that feel?" Rachel's voice was still low and husky, her mouth right up against Quinn's ear, and Quinn groaned again, not able to comprehend that _Rachel Berry_ was making her feel this incredible, that it was even possible to feel this way.

"S-so good, Rach, please don't stop," she finally responded, her hips reaching a frantic pace. She could feel herself tightening around Rachel's fingers. Rachel increased the pressure on that spot inside Quinn and suddenly she was clinging to the shorter girl as she shuddered, crying out, her hips eventually coming to a stop. She gasped as Rachel slowly pulled her fingers out from inside her and then lowered herself down, curling against Quinn with her head on her chest. Quinn was glad she couldn't see the two tiny tears she brushed from her eyes, overwhelmed with emotions and feelings she couldn't name.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: So, it's almost a year since I last updated this story. Officially the worst author EVER. If any of you end up reading this, congratulations, you are marathon readers, and also thank you for picking this story up again. I don't know why this one keeps popping back into my head, but it does, and I really want to finish it. This is probably the second to last chapter and it is looooonnggg. I should probably also mention that I stopped watching this show after season 2, although I still love the characters, so none of my stories will likely ever reflect any canon plots the happened during season 3. **

* * *

The first thing Quinn saw when her eyes opened the next morning was Rachel's naked back, a strip of sunlight falling across it from the space between the curtains on the window, making it glow like brilliant gold. She sucked in a breath, then stifled it, praying she hadn't woken the brunette. The silence permeating the house, the peaceful, slanting shafts of sunlight falling across the bed, and Rachel's even breathing all made for the first non-chaotic moment of Quinn's life in weeks. She was a little grateful that Rachel was still asleep because the peace and quiet afforded her time to take in the night before – the articles of clothing strewn across the bedroom, the tangled state of the bed sheets, and the naked singer in bed beside her. Quinn crawled very carefully out of the bed and crossed to the mirror that stood in the corner of the room. She slowly surveyed her reflection, taking in the familiar swell of her own breasts, the patch of blonde curls between her thighs, the way her hipbones jutted out like butterfly wings. She didn't look any different than before she had touched a girl, laid with her in the way she'd be told would damn any woman to an eternity in hell. She didn't even looked that different than before she'd had the baby. Her hair was still the same thick blonde; her eyes were still round and hazel, her lips still full. She was still beautiful. It was a realization that shocked her as she stood staring at herself.

_I'm the same_.

Despite the baby, despite Rachel, despite defying her father, despite losing her mother, she was the same - only smarter, wiser, and stronger. Her gaze fell on Rachel's sleeping form in the mirror and she saw again the way the singer had writhed and moaned in pleasure under her ministrations, the way their bodies had responded to each other so readily. Quinn felt, for the first time in a long time, that her mind and body were completely hers. She had come to understand herself, had recognized something in herself that there would be no turning away from now. And she had made Rachel come undone, Quinn and Quinn alone had witnessed, had caused, the singer's undoing. The sheer power she felt, the power to face what she had faced and love so fiercely in spite of it was something the blonde in the mirror knew couldn't be taken away.

Suddenly, the beauty of the morning – the sunlight, the newfound awareness, the peace of the house, was too much to take in alone. Quinn climbed back into the bed – her bed, now – and carefully brushed Rachel's hair back, planting a line of gentle kisses down her neck. Rachel smiled sleepily and rolled over to look at the blonde.

"Good morning," Quinn grinned, "It's a beautiful day."

* * *

Living at the Berrys' house was like moving from a life in a long, dark tunnel with only a dim light ahead to living in an open, sunlit field of flowers with a gigantic rainbow shining overhead. So much of the Berrys' lives reflected their comfort in being who they were, in living out in the open. Not even in relation to their sexuality, but their quirky personalities and likes and dislikes, as well.

Quinn was used to first living under Russell's rule, where everything down to what classes she took at school to what her mother cooked for dinner was decided by one man. She had then grown accustomed to living with Judy, where she was lucky to see her mother awake for more than ten minutes, let alone share stories of her day with her. Hiram and Leroy set out adorable bowls of cereal topped with fruit every morning, and asked what the girls might like to eat for dinner that night. Hiram would often peer over the top of his little glasses and ask,

"Did you girls get enough sleep last night? I heard some giggling coming from your room, Quinn," or else, "Have you two done your summer reading yet?"

Whereas Leroy would wink a warm chocolate brown eye at Quinn and ask if there would be a pick-up rehearsal that night, and should he keep some plates warm for them. Dinner was much the same, with the whole family around the kitchen table – Quinn had never seen them set foot in the impeccably decorated formal dining room - their stories of rehearsal, work, and shows punctuated by "pass the peas, please," and "these kale chips are delicious." Quinn realized that this little family, a unit that her previous community would have damned and never recognized it for what it was, was more wholesome than any right-wing Christian family of hypocrites she had ever known. Rachel had a strong moral compass and good values, and it was clear that she had been taught by these two men to love, accept, and support others. Quinn had only ever been taught to judge and manipulate, and it had taken her all these years to break away from that.

It didn't take Quinn long to become enormously grateful that by some grace of God she had ended up in a family as loving as the Berrys. After a week or so, Leroy announced that Lexie and Angie had invited them over for dinner. Rachel was ecstatic, of course, "I can't wait to see Elijah!" But Quinn was nervous. She hadn't called the lawyer since she had last seen her, and she still wasn't sure what her best course of action regarding her parents was. She was also nervous about how easily Mrs. Levine had been able to see through her the day that they had met. Lastly, "Lexie and Angie" were obviously important to Rachel, and Quinn wanted to make a good impression. It made her nervous to think about all the dirty laundry that the lawyer already knew about.

The following evening, the Berrys plus Quinn piled into Hiram's gold-colored SUV and drove to a neighborhood even nicer than the one Quinn had grown up in, with intricately curly-cued streetlights illuminating every portion of the street, beautifully manicured lawns and community areas, an impeccably clean playground, and a well-lit jogging track that wound its way throughout the neighborhood. The driveway that Hiram steered the car into was attached to one of the nicest houses Quinn had ever seen, and that was certainly saying something. It was modern, sleek, and elegant, with tall glass walls built in such a way as to maintain the privacy of the residents but allowing them what must have been a magnificent view.

Leroy rang the doorbell, and Quinn felt her heart clench as, through the huge glass doors they saw a tiny blonde head bobbing excitedly as its owner toddled down a long hallway toward them. A red-headed woman with a rounded look and a huge, beautiful smile ran after him, and opened the door, laughing.

"Auntie Ray!" Elijah hustled forward as Rachel dropped to one knee and opened her arms.

"Hello, pumpkin!" the brunette cried, scooping him up and pecking the red-headed woman on the cheek before bustling into the house.

The woman greeted Leroy and Hiram, and then turned her radiant smile to Quinn, who felt her face stretch into a grin without waiting for permission from her brain.

"You must be Quinn! I'm Angie, Lexie told me all about you!" she pulled the blonde in for a hug, and Quinn sucked in a sharp breath as she heard a giggle and squeal of delight from Elijah, somewhere in the house. Quinn couldn't tell from Angie's kind gaze just how much Lexie had disclosed, but Quinn hoped that her newfound discomfort with babies and children didn't show.

"Come in, come in!" Angie grinned, motioning Quinn into the house.

Quinn followed Hiram and Leroy through a spacious foyer and into a huge living room, decorated in a sleek and modern style that was punctuated with framed photos of the small family. Rachel had situated herself in the middle of the room, sprawled on the plush cream-colored carpet with Elijah beside her, helping him unwrap the gift the Berrys had brought him – a colorful toddler-proof plastic boombox with a microphone.

"Dinner's almost ready!" Quinn heard Lexie's voice coming from somewhere in the house.

"Everyone sit!" Angie motioned to the square-cushioned sofas. As they sat, Angie offered them water or drinks. Quinn had a hard time taking her eyes off of Elijah's pudgy little fingers pushing the buttons on his new toy and testing to see how loud it could make his babbling voice.

"Quinn?" Quinn turned around quickly.

"What? Er, I'm sorry?" Angie was watching her with the type of sympathetic look that told Quinn that Lexie had pretty much spilled the beans on her past.

"Would you like water? Soda? Apple juice?" The redhead winked at the last suggestion. Quinn shook her head.

"I'm fine, thanks." Angie had barely returned with the drinks for the Berry men when Lexie called from the next room, "Dinner is served!"

"And it's time for Elijah to go to bed," Angie said, scooping the toddler off of the floor and pausing while Rachel kissed him goodnight and Hiram and Leroy each shook his pudgy little hand. To avoid interacting with the baby, Quinn quickly stepped over to the mess on the floor left behind by Rachel's gift. The brunette was already grabbing up the stray bits of wrapping paper, leaving the toy leftover for Quinn, who grabbed it and instinctively followed Angie down a hallway, the lightweight plastic feeling particularly strange and heavy in her hand.

The thought of having to enter the nursery to put the toy away didn't dawn on Quinn until she was standing in the doorway, watching Angie lay him gently on the changing table in the soft glow of a bedside lamp, dimly illuminating the sage green walls and the jungle animal theme of the nursery.

"Thanks so much, hon," Angie said quietly, "You can put it in there," she jerked her head toward an overflowing toy box in the corner.

"No problem," Quinn murmured, and crossed the room practically at a run, then turned tail and fled to the dining room she had passed on the way in.

The last baby she had been that close to had been her own. Her own fantasies of putting Beth to bed in a lovingly decorated nursery, playing with new toys, sharing her quirky habits and developmental milestones with friends all came rushing back to her as she entered the large dining room with the dark wooden table, set with trendy square plates and fancy glasses. She saw concern pass over Rachel's face before she could smooth her own to a mask of indifference. She did her best to smile convincingly and sat down with everyone else at the table.

Lexie entered the dining room carrying a lasagna dish between two red potholders, dressed in jeans and a black sweater, her hair in a loose ponytail, quite the contrasting presentation to what Quinn had seen in her office.

"It's vegetarian lasagna made with squash pasta and fake cheese, Rach," Lexie said before she even sat down. Then, "Hello, Quinn, good to see you again."

Angie appeared after a few minutes, and Quinn watched her kiss her…wife, she supposed, and listened as Lexie asked whether the baby got to sleep alright, and spooned lasagna out for everyone.

Quinn saw the loving looks that passed between the two women, the way they laughed over something their son had done the day before. She took in the beautiful home they shared together, the child they were raising together, and the friends they shared together.

It was the life Quinn had been hoping to live, and until now had thought to be completely unattainable. Despite the times she lived in, and even despite living with the Berrys for the past couple of weeks, she hadn't allowed herself to believe that such a life could be hers.

Until now, everything seemed to be taken away from her: her social status, her body, her home, her baby, and all of her goals. Looking around the table, and thinking of everything that had happened in the past months, she saw a new, supportive group of friends, a new home, a new family, and the unexpected addition of Rachel to her life.

As dinner came to a close, Quinn offered to help Lexie with the dishes and Angie showed the Berrys back into the family room to look at new pictures of Elijah. Quinn brought a stack of dishes into the kitchen as Lexie was spooning the leftover lasagna into a Tupperware dish.

"You were pretty quiet during dinner, Quinn," the brunette woman said, snapping the lid onto the leftovers and crossing to the refrigerator.

Quinn continued scraping plates into the garbage can, considering her answer, and the woman across the room, before admitting, "I guess I have a lot on my mind right now."

Lexie nodded, pausing to survey the girl and leaning against a counter.

"You know," she began, sighing a little and crossing her arms over her chest, "You and I had very similar experiences in high school."

Quinn stopped with the dishes to look at the older woman in disbelief, "Really?"

Lexie nodded, "I mean, I didn't have a baby, obviously, but I fell in love with a girl, and my dad found out about it, and he threw me out, too."

"I'm sorry, that sucks."

"Hiram's parents let me stay at their place through high school, they even sent me money throughout college, and they were at my graduation. They encouraged me to finish law school and then let me stay with them again when I was studying for the bar. They turned out to be better parents than my real family would have allowed themselves to be."

Quinn nodded, thinking of Russell and Judy and rubbing at an invisible spot on the granite countertop.

"But," Lexie continued, "I know my parents loved me, they just couldn't get past their own stupid ideas of who I was supposed to be. They thought they were doing the right thing. Now that I'm a parent, one side of me can't imagine turning my own child away-" Quinn cringed, seeing Beth in her hospital bassinet, "-but the other side so strongly wants to see him become something great and to help him avoid all those things that I perceive to be bad influences. I know you know what I'm talking about. You're a parent, too."

Tears immediately sprung to Quinn's eyes. No one had ever called her Beth's parent. She hadn't even considered permitting herself to be called that. She blinked rapidly, but the tears started to fall, anyway. Lexie crossed the kitchen and put an arm around the blonde teenager.

"Listen, I have a baby, and I've been where you are now, and there is no way you or I would have been able to handle both at the same time. Of course you miss your baby, of course you wish you could have kept her, but good mothers always put their kids first, and you made the ultimate sacrifice for her. You gave her a better life. No one else could have done that for her. And you're a better parent than your own parents will ever be. You know there's no way they don't love you, just like there's no way you don't love your baby. They may never see where they were wrong, but you hating them won't change a thing."

Quinn's face was in her hands, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs. It was everything she hadn't allowed herself to think; the guilt, the pain, the anger, the forgiveness. She hadn't said a word and yet this woman had been able to recognize all that in her which she had been hiding for so long, from everyone.

The two of them stood in the kitchen for a long time, Quinn quietly crying onto Lexie's shoulder, the older woman gently rubbing her back. After awhile, Quinn stopped crying and Lexie crossed the kitchen to get her a paper towel.

As she dabbed her eyes and wiped her nose, Quinn managed, "How did you…thanks, for saying all that."

Lexie smiled, "Don't mention it. But listen, I know you're looking for a job. What time do you get out of school during the school year?"

Quinn blinked, "Three, why?"

"Well, my office is open until six thirty, so if you could work from three fifteen to seven, and days during the summer, I'd like to hire you as the secretary for the office."

Quinn looked up at the woman, hoping she wasn't kidding. "Are you sure?"

Lexie raised an eyebrow, "I'm pretty sure you've met our current secretary. I'm sure you'll understand why I'd like to see less of her, she's not exactly a ray of sunshine."

Quinn laughed, "Thank you so much, this really means a lot."

"No problem. Now, let's finish the dishes before Angie and Rachel come back here looking for us."

Quinn laughed again, but Lexie suddenly got serious, "Oh, and one more thing," she glowered down at Quinn, "I'm not going to ask you what's going on with your love life or what's happening between you and Rachel, but let me tell you if you hurt that girl one more time, so help me, I know where you live now."

Quinn looked up, her eyes wide, "Don't worry about that," they stared at each other for a second, "I'm serious," Quinn assured the older woman.

Lexie nodded, then smiled and patted Quinn on the back, "Alright, sorry, you know, it's just that Angie and I really care about that little maniac."

Quinn grinned, "Me, too."


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Well, guys, I know I said this would be the last chapter, but I'm not quite done yet. There will be one more epilogueish-but-not final chapter coming up soon. Thanks so much for reading (and reviewing! I seriously love reading your reviews). I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Quinn pulled her keys out of her pocket in the parking lot of Lexie's office building and slipped into the driver's seat of her car, the late August sunset blazing a trail of orange across the deepening sky. Summer was ending; the slight chill in the air was forcing the blonde to accept that school would soon begin again.

She was torn. Part of her was glad to start school without the ongoing oppression of Russell and his rules, but another part was missing her home and her family. The idea of applying for colleges without the help of her parents was daunting, but at the same time she was enjoying her newfound sense of freedom. The show that she and Rachel had devoted their summer to was over, and Rod and Nancy had asked Quinn to stage manage some of their productions during the coming school year. She knew Russell would never allow her to spend so much of her time away from church and homework and his influence, not to mention he would be certain to disapprove of the "type of people" that called the theatre home.

Quinn was also relieved to be able to relax at home with Rachel, to go on regular dates with her, to kiss her whenever she wanted, without having to worry about her parents' disapproval or harsh words. At the same time, she wished she could share her happiness with her family.

She shook her blonde head to clear it as she drove the familiar route home from work. Her parents couldn't share in her happiness when they only saw it as a further perversion of her spirit.

She grinned as she pulled into the driveway of the Berry house, her house now, hopped out of her car and hurried for the front door, turning her key in the lock. Hiram was sitting on the couch with the paper folded around the crossword, nibbling the cap of a ballpoint pen.

"Hello, Quinn, how was work?" He said, glancing up and smiling at her.

"Good, thanks," she smiled back, "How's the crossword?"

"Hmm," Hiram paused, frowning down at the newsprint, "Suspect, in cop lingo? Four letters."

Quinn went around to the back of the couch to look over his shoulder. She studied the puzzle for a second before announcing, "Perp!"

"That works!" Hiram said, chuckling and filling it in, "You watch too much Law & Order."

"She has a considerably unhealthy obsession with Mariska Hargitay," Rachel's voice came from the doorway of the kitchen. Quinn turned to see the brunette was still in her clothes from ballet class, tendrils of hair slipping out of her bun and spilling onto her forehead.

"Not as obsessed as I am with you in a leotard," Quinn smirked, crossing to kiss her.

"Blech!" Hiram pretended to gag, then put his paper down and got up, walking towards the kitchen door with a grin on his face, "I'm going to see if Leroy needs any help with dinner."

Quinn smiled at her girlfriend, running her hands over her tiny waist in the tight black leotard, sliding her hands around to her lower back and slipping her fingers just inside the waistband of the sweatpants Rachel wore over her dance gear. "Did you miss me?" Quinn breathed into her ear.

Rachel pulled back to kiss her, capturing her bottom lip between her teeth for an instant before looking into her eyes. Quinn's stomach flipped over. She wondered if that would always happen.

"What do you think?" Rachel had her bedroom eyes on, but a completely unrelated thought had obviously entered her head because her face suddenly lit up with excitement.

"Angie called me today! She asked if I could babysit Elijah tonight. She said you'd be welcome to come, too. They have a wonderful entertainment system so I was planning to bring an extensive collection of musicals to watch after the baby goes to bed. I'm leaning towards _Meet Me in St. Louis _right now."

Quinn hesitated. The last thing she wanted was to spend the night taking care of someone else's baby, seeing the things she was missing out on with Beth. But she could see Rachel's big brown eyes searching her face for confirmation; she knew Rachel had been imagining spending the evening with her girlfriend and her nephew in that big beautiful house and then settling in with one of her favorite films.

"Great," Quinn managed a genuine smile, "I could definitely go for some Judy Garland tonight."

Rachel grinned, Quinn knew not only because she was excited for tonight but because Quinn had known who the star of the film was, as well. The blonde shook her head, unable to keep the smirk off her face as she headed into the kitchen to help set the table.

* * *

"Daddy was definitely acting like something was going on."

Rachel was in the passenger seat of Quinn's car, wearing jeans and a loose blue top that Quinn already knew would be distracting her all night.

"Definitely," Quinn agreed as they stopped at a stoplight and she looked over to run her eyes over the shorter girl, who was applying the last of her makeup in the visor mirror. She was glad for a distraction from her baby thoughts.

"Surely they can't have planned some sort of surprise event," Rachel wondered aloud. Quinn smirked. It was just like her girlfriend to get carried away with the fantasy of showing up to a house full of her adoring fans. She had undoubtedly chosen the shirt she was wearing and applied the makeup just in case. On some people, Quinn was sure this quality would look selfish and vain, but on Rachel, it just looked adorable.

When they arrived at the house, Angie and Lexie were in the living room with Elijah, who was babbling away into the toy microphone Rachel had brought him last time. The two women were dressed up nice, Lexie in pants and a silky-looking top, and Angie in a smash-hit of a red dress that flared out from her waist and stopped just below her knees.

"Well don't you two look stunning!" Rachel exclaimed, delicately kissing both of their cheeks to avoid mussing their clothes.

"Why thank you," Angie grinned.

"What's the occasion?" Rachel asked, hoisting Elijah up onto her hip. He closed a tiny fist around the neckline of her shirt and stared over Rachel's shoulder at Quinn with huge eyes. Quinn quickly move to Rachel's other side.

Angie was bouncing on the balls of her feet, grinning at Lexie, who grinned back, then nodded.

"I'm pregnant!" Angie squealed, "Elijah is going to be a big brother! We're going out to celebrate."

Rachel gasped, then bounced up and down herself, making Elijah shriek with delight.

"I can't believe it! Congratulations!" There was a flurry of hugging, during which Quinn unfroze her face and plastered it with a grin, congratulating and hugging everyone.

"I'm obviously going to be planning your baby shower," Rachel declared once the hubbub had died down.

"Um, obviously! We already told your dads, Rachel, but we wanted to tell you on your own so we asked them to keep it a secret." Angie clearly couldn't wipe the grin off of her face. She was positively lit up like the sun. Quinn couldn't help remembering when she had discovered she was pregnant. She had felt like her world had turned black.

"We'd love for you to be the godmother, Rach," Lexie added. Quinn watched Rachel's eyes fill with tears as she thanked them and exclaimed over the excitement. Elijah reached up and caught his aunt's happy tears with pudgy fingers as they fell down Rachel's cheeks.

After a few more minutes of excited chatter during which Quinn was extremely grateful that Rachel and Angie were so chatty and dominated the conversation, the two women left to claim their reservation at Breadsticks.

"I'd better go get this one's pajamas, it's almost bedtime" Rachel announced, plopping him back in the middle of the living room, "Do you mind watching him?"

Quinn paled slightly and said, "Oh, I can get them, I don't mind-"

"Don't be silly," Rachel waved her away, already bustling toward the kitchen. Quinn took a shaky breath and lowered herself to the carpet with her back against the couch nearest Elijah, who had resumed his one-man show with the microphone. After a few seconds of eyeing Quinn suspiciously, he toddled over, dragging his toy along with him.

"Auntie Kin!" he waved his microphone in the air, then pointed it at Quinn's mouth, raising his eyebrows expectantly.

"What, little one?" Quinn was fighting against her throat closing as he crawled into her lap. She looked down onto his blonde, curly head, and was horrified as she watched her tears begin to fall onto it. He looked around, concerned, grabbed at her tears the way he had done with Rachel.

"Auntie Kin?" he put his chubby little arms around her neck to hug her, and Quinn used every ounce of self-control she had to keep her shoulders from shaking with sobs. She didn't want to think of how freaked out this little guy would be with some crazy girl crying on his shoulder. She put her head down and squeezed him back, feeling his warm little body in her arms, and feeling her heart aching for her daughter.

"I wish I had a camera right now, you two are incredibly adorable," Rachel said as she came back in the room. Quinn quickly dried her eyes, but there was no hiding the fact that she'd been crying.

"Baby? What's going on, are you alright?" Rachel's face was creased with concern. She dropped down to her knees. Elijah had wriggled out of Quinn's arms.

"Auntie Kin's sad. Spidey!" Elijah exclaimed, tugging his Spiderman pajamas out of Rachel's hands. She looked down at him.

"That's right, cutie-pie. Your favorite. Let's go get them on you." She scooped him up and headed for the hallway, "I'll be right back, baby, okay?" she said, looking over her shoulder at Quinn. Quinn nodded, putting her face in her hands, feeling horrible for ruining Rachel's night, for probably confusing the hell out of Elijah, for selfishly thinking of herself when Lexie and Angie were so excited to share the news about their growing family. She took a deep breath, then another. Then she got to her feet and headed to the nursery.

She peeked around the corner into the room, dimly lit by the lamp on top of the dresser. Rachel was seated in the rocking chair, Elijah nearly asleep on her lap.

"_Sweet dreams be yours, dear, if dreams there be,_" Rachel was singing softly, beautifully. Quinn thought of how lucky Elijah and his little brother or sister will be to grow up falling asleep to the sound of Rachel's voice. "_Sweet dreams to carry you close to me,_" Quinn thought of what a great caretaker Rachel was to Elijah, how lucky her children would be someday. How lucky Rachel was that she would never have to feel the pain of giving any of her babies up. How those babies would never grow up possibly wondering why Rachel hadn't loved them enough to keep them, why she hadn't wanted them, wondering who she was, probably hating her for abandoning them.

Quinn silently walked back to the living room, fresh tears falling, unable to stop herself from pressing a fist to her mouth and sobbing silently as she sank onto a couch. She heard the soft closing of the nursery door, then Rachel rushed into the living room.

"Quinn, I'm so sorry, I should have realized how hard this would be for you, I'm an idiot, I'm so sorry!" She said in one breath as she rushed to sit beside Quinn on the couch and pulling her against her, wrapping her arms around her.

"I miss her so much," Quinn sobbed, fisting her hands into the back of Rachel's shirt, clinging to the shorter girl like she was driftwood in the middle of the ocean.

"I know, baby," Rachel rubbed her back in circles, smoothed her hair away from her face.

"I'm so scared she's going to grow up hating me," Quinn sat up, trying to stop the flow of tears, "That she won't understand why I…why I…"

Rachel grabbed Quinn's hand, "She won't, she won't even need to wonder. Shelby knows why you did it, she'll tell her."

Quinn shook her head, buried her face in her hands. "She won't. She'd be glad to help her hate me if it meant Beth would love her more."

"She's not that stupid, Quinn," Rachel paused, and then her voice fell slightly flat, "She's been where you are. She wouldn't do that."

"Who knows what she's capable of! Look at what she did to you!"

Rachel was silent for long enough to make Quinn look up. She was crying, but she took Quinn by the shoulders.

"You would never do what Shelby did. You are Beth's _mother_," Quinn looked away, shaking her head, but Rachel grabbed her chin and pulled her face around to stare into her eyes, "Shelby was never my mother. She gave that up when she put herself before me. You have never and will never do that to Beth. And Shelby…" Rachel's voice broke, but she swallowed and continued staring into Quinn's eyes, "…she really loves her, okay? She's her mom."

The two of them sat, curled into each other, crying until they were cried out. Finally Quinn took a shaky breath and wiped her eyes one last time.

"I'm sorry I ruined tonight," she said, sitting up and running a hand through her hair.

"Of course you didn't," Rachel smiled at her, carefully rubbing at the smudged makeup beneath her eyes, "It's never too late for Judy. Let's go in the den."

Quinn laughed and stood up to follow her.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: YOU GUYS! This is the only multi-chapter fic I have ever finished! It's a weird feeling...it feels like I could never actually be done with it! I really hope you guys have enjoyed the story and are satisfied with the ending...Thanks so much for reading and for all of the reviews! I already have plans for something else...hmmm... :)**

* * *

"Fabray?"

Quinn looked up. She recognized the kid behind the photo counter from William McKinley. Great.

She felt his judgmental eyes upon her as she paid for her prints, snatching the cardboard envelope out of his hands and turning to leave. Not only did the town know about her pregnancy, the adoption, her drunk mother, her dad coming back to throw her out, and her move-in with Rachel, but the two of them were now "Facebook official," giving everyone plenty to talk about on the weekend before school started.

The last time Quinn had come home filled with rage about a dirty look or a snide comment, Rachel had pushed her to the bed, straddled her, pulled her shirt off and commenced sucking at the pulse point on Quinn's neck. "Don't get upset, baby," Quinn loved the way Rachel dropped out of her fancy vocabulary voice in the bedroom, "Just remember all the things you get to do that no one else does."

As she pulled into her driveway, Quinn considered feigning outrage to try for a similar outcome. She chuckled to herself as she opened the front door, knowing Rachel was at a voice lesson, anyway. In fact, everyone was out, which was exactly the way Quinn had planned.

She ran upstairs to her room, crossed to the desk, and pulled out the stationary she had bought the other day. Her pen hovered for a minute above the creamy paper, then she put it down and grabbed the envelope of photos, tearing it open.

Inside were four photographs. She pulled the first out, of her in her old Cheerios uniform, smiling at the camera, a blue sky and the bleachers of the football field behind her. It was strange to look at her old self. Quinn searched for some sign of the person she had become behind the eyes of the girl in the picture, but she seemed like a separate person all together. She turned the envelope upside down and let the rest of the pictures fall out: Quinn and Puck, Quinn and Judy, and finally Quinn, at the hospital, with Beth in her arms. She looked at herself, grinning like a fool into the face of her daughter.

She picked up her pen again and wrote on the stationary:

_Dear Beth, _

_The day you were born was one of the happiest and the saddest days of my life. I couldn't believe that I had made something as beautiful and as perfect as you are. But I was sad, too, because I knew I couldn't keep you._

_I wanted to so badly, I wanted to hold you and sing you to sleep and drive you to your first day of kindergarten. I wanted to be at your college graduation. I love you so much, but I knew that for you to have a mom who could do all of those things for you, then that mom couldn't be me._

_I was sixteen years old when you were born, and mommies should be adults who are able to make good decisions for their babies and for themselves. _

_I hope one day you can understand that I gave you to a better mommy because I loved you so much, not because I didn't want you. I miss you every day, and you will always be in my heart. _

Quinn stared at the paper. She doubted there would ever be enough words to explain her decision to Beth. Wrote at the bottom _Love, _and then paused. Quinn? Mom? She finally scrawled, _Your mother, Quinn_.

She frowned at her signature, still not sure about it. She took out another paper and wrote down her name, address, and phone number. On the back of the picture of her and Puck, she wrote:

_This is me and your father. His name is Noah, and he named you Beth. _

She labeled the photo of herself and her mother as "Me and my mom, your grandmother."

Then she took out the final piece of stationary and scrawled a quick note to Shelby:

_Thank you for everything. I hope one day you'll be okay with giving this letter and the pictures to Beth. I've also included my contact information. Anytime it changes, I will send it to you. I only ask that if she asks for it when she's older, that you consider giving it to her. _

She put all of the letters and the photos in a manila envelope, sealed it, and wrote "Shelby Corcoran" on it. Then she stared at it like it might combust. She imagined going to Carmel High School and finding Shelby and asking to see her daughter; the drama that would ensue. After the past year, the last thing Quinn needed was more drama.

"Quinn?" Rachel's voice sounded from the doorway. Quinn jumped.

"I didn't hear you come in," she said, swiveling in her chair to look at the brunette. Rachel dropped her water bottle and sheet music folder on the bed before crossing to Quinn.

"How was work?" she asked, gently turning Quinn back around in her chair to rub her shoulders. Quinn's eyes fell to the envelope with Shelby's name written in huge letters across it. She heard the small intake of breath, felt Rachel's hands grow still on her shoulders and knew she was looking at it, too.

Quinn took a breath, then got up, holding the envelope, "It's a letter, for Beth. And some pictures," she felt awkward standing up so she sat down on the end of the bed, "I'm going to bring them to Carmel and just leave it in the front office for her."

Quinn was staring hard at the envelope, but she felt Rachel sit down beside her on the bed and sweep some of her hair back behind her ear.

"I just…" Quinn hesitated, looking at Rachel's hands clasped neatly in her lap, "I just wanted to tell her that it wasn't because I didn't want her, and I just thought…of what I would have wanted to know about me, if I was her," she paused again, "You know, what my biological parents looked like. I wanted her to be able to contact me if…" Quinn knew this part was stupid. She had given Beth over to an entirely new family who was perfectly capable of providing her with a safety net. But, still, "In case she ever needed anything."

Rachel was silent for a minute, then laced her fingers between Quinn's, "You're a good mom, Quinn. I wish," she faltered, then, "I wish Shelby had done that for me."

Doubts filled Quinn again as she took a shaky breath, "I'm so sorry for what she did to you, I'm so scared that she's going to be less than a good mom for Beth. I just wish there was a way to know..."

She stole a glance at Rachel, who had a peculiar look on her face. She glanced at her watch, and then seemed to make a decision.

"Come on," she said, standing up and straightening her skirt, then tugging Quinn by the arm, "We need to hurry! Grab your keys."

Once in the car, Rachel directed Quinn to a completely different neighborhood, with a ton of kids running around and big, climbable trees. They turned a corner onto a huge central green, on which there stood a playground. Quinn looked at Rachel, perplexed. She was staring through the windshield at the playground.

"I've never taken anyone here before," she said quietly, "I know it's technically stalking, but…"

Quinn followed her eyes to the swing set, where she recognized the back of Shelby's head. She was pushing – Quinn gasped audibly, felt her stomach drop. Shelby was pushing a brunette baby in the baby swing. Quinn's view was obstructed every time the baby swung forward toward Shelby, but every time Shelby pushed her back felt like a new pulse of Quinn's heart. Beth was shrieking with delight, her little fists up in the air. Shelby occasionally stopped the swing to plant a kiss on Beth's head, or threw her head back to laugh. They were both undeniably happy.

Quinn couldn't take her eyes off of the sight; she felt like everything around her had fallen away, thinking _that could have been me, that could have been me_, until she remembered Rachel was beside her, probably thinking the exact same thing.

Quinn looked over at her, and was struck suddenly by how incredibly beautiful she looked, even though she had tears in her eyes.

"Rach, how long have you been coming here? How did you even know…"

"Jesse told me where she lived, and then when she told me she wanted a baby," Quinn heard the _instead of me _that Rachel didn't voice, "and then she adopted Beth and I just wanted to see…I don't know if I was hoping to see her struggling, out of spite, or if I'm just a glutton for punishment but I wanted to see them together. And I was going to her house, passing this park, and I saw her here with Beth. They come here every day if the weather is nice, right around this time, but I'm assuming that will stop once Shelby goes back to school."

They watched in silence while Shelby collected their things, put Beth in her stroller, and started to walk down the opposite street. It took a lot of self control for Quinn to remain in the car, rather than run after them. She imagined Rachel was doing the same, and was struck by how connected they were to these two people; these two invisible members of their families.

Suddenly Quinn started laughing. Rachel looked completely offended.

"What? I didn't bring you here so you could ridicule me-"

"Rach, it's not that I swear," Quinn giggled, "I just realized that if you and I were married, then you would be Beth's mom, too, and her mom would be her grandmother AND her mom, and you would be her mom AND her sister."

Rachel looked at her for a second, and then started laughing, too, "How very Appalachian of us," she giggled.

Their laughter died down and after a second of silence Rachel grinned, "Did you just say 'if you and I were married?'"

Quinn blushed, then nudged her playfully, "I said _if_! Don't take that as a cue to start dress shopping and planning the theme with Leroy."

Rachel's eyes grew wide, "How did you know I've always wanted a themed wedding? All my life I've been waiting for the girl who'd agree to a _Phantom of the-_"

"No!" Quinn shrieked, and to shut her up, leaned over the space between their seats and covered Rachel's mouth with hers. Rachel's voice caught in the back of her throat and turned into an appreciative groan. Quinn felt her fingers entwine in her hair, felt another hand on her neck. She pulled back to look at her girlfriend's flushed face.

"I love you, Rachel," she said, unable to keep a smile off of her face, "Thank you for bringing me here, for…" she laughed, "seeing everything you saw in me that I was trying to keep hidden. For…saving me."

She kissed her gently again, then, "One day, I hope to give you the wedding of your dreams," Rachel's eyes lit up, "But I'm NOT dressing up as the Phantom."

Rachel laughed, brought Quinn's hand to her lips, "I'm the one who saved you remember? I could always be the knight in shining," she looked down, "argyle."

Quinn laughed and unbuckled her seatbelt, wriggling closer to the brunette and gently kissing her.

The end.


End file.
